Before the Resolution!

What keeps us from Keeping our New Year’s Resolutions? 

  1. We make resolutions or goals that are NOT true to ourselves.

Often goals are task oriented- which is great for the task oriented person who loves to check off a list of things done, who does a task for the sake of the task needing to be done.

But that doesn’t work for the person who is relational at the core- like me.  I don’t do things just because they need to be done.  I do them because it affects a relationship I care about.

Simple example, a task oriented person does the dishes because they need to be done.

A relational person does them because their spouse or their family benefit from having them done.

 So lets use ‘health’  as one of our resolutions for 2015, because chances are it is on everyone’s list to some degree.   The task oriented person will likely choose that goal because they see that this needs to be done to do life well.  The relational person will choose this goal because they want to be in the lives of the people in their world.

 Now I know that is over simplifying  because many of us have a bit of task and relationship in our personality.  But understanding this about yourself can be very freeing.   You begin to realize you are not right- or wrong- just different.

 A question you can ask is  Continue reading Before the Resolution!

Pondering the Old Year!

The Christmas season is over!  The year is drawing to a close.  Often Happy New Yearour minds are full of ponderings.  If they’re not, they should be. What a perfect time to take a look at the past year and all we experienced.

NOTICING the past plays a huge role in making the new year more successful!

As I began this journey, I NOTICED Continue reading Pondering the Old Year!

Living Open Handed: Dear Grief

I was challenged by my story partner friend to take Kate Motaung’s challenge to write a letter to grief. Since it ties in with my recent series on Living Open Handed, I choose to share this here also.

 

Dear Grief,

I don’t think I want to talk to you!

I’ve spent so many years struggling to survive your choke hold on my life!

I’ve crawled through your tunnel

Filled with muck- dark and slimy

So deep that with each step I sunk farther

O

Until it began to paralyze my legs

Then my torso and my arms

Finally my face

Silencing my voice

Blind folding my sight

Dulling my ability to hear as you filled my ears with your lies.

I could barely find my next breath

OH

let alone move.

Continue reading Living Open Handed: Dear Grief

The Artist Manifesto: Will You Create?

Reposting with permission of the author, Jeff Goins.  As we close the year, do we dare to  use the voice that God has given us, to pursue the dream that was planted in us. Here’s to being the prophet or the poet – and influencing  the world!

Continue reading The Artist Manifesto: Will You Create?

Living Open Handed: Pivot to See God

Open handedThis is the 4th and final post in the series Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World. If you have missed the previous posts, it would be helpful to go back and read them in order to understand how we got to this post.  Links are provided below.

1. Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World
2
. Living Open Handed: I have a need!
3
. Living Open Handed: Express Honestly

Through these posts,

  • we have identified our fears that cause us to create fist
  • then opened the little finger to admit or acknowledge we have a need.
  • Next we lifted the ring finger and wrote a psalm including those fears and needs.

Now we are ready to open the middle finger which stands for P: PIVOT. Continue reading Living Open Handed: Pivot to See God

Living Open Handed: Express Honestly

This is the third in a series on LIVING OPEN HANDED.  If you missed them, it might be helpful to go back so you understand how we got to this post.
1. LIVING OPEN HANDED: Do Not Fear 

2. LIVING OPEN HANDED: I have a Need

Open handedRecognizing our fear and acknowledging we have a need leads us to
open up our ring finger for E: EXPRESS HONESTLY———-

Continue reading Living Open Handed: Express Honestly

Living OPEN Handed: I have a NEED

This is the second post in the Living Open Handed series.

Let’s consider what it takes to LIVE with OPEN HANDS, in a white knuckle world.
Open handedI ask you make a fist again- because generally that is what our hand looks like when we are afraid. Now, consider your knuckles as a tool to help you remember how to OPEN your hands.

But we are going to work backwards.

First, Open your little finger and recall the N stands for:
I HAVE NEED——

When we experience fear, we become aware that we are in need.  We don’t often admit it, but we usually NEED God to show up in a big way.  However, too often we don’t go to God first.  Instead we have to recognize that a fear appears most often because a NEED we have is being compromised.  maslov's hierarch of needs

If you consider Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs that I studied in my classes for coaching, maybe you can identify what need is trampled in some way.

But another way to come to terms with your needs is to read the Psalms. 

How many times as you read through the Psalms do you find a Psalmist that is voicing your hearts cry.

In regard to your fears (refer to your list you made yesterday), what are the needs that are not being met? Write them down next to the fear.  Be as descriptive as you can be.  It will help with the next step in tomorrow’s post. 

Missed the first post, click here! 

Want to read the next one- here it is!

Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World

How many of us will honestly admit that we experience fears and tonightinsecurities – as a mom?  at my job? at school?  at home?    Most if not all of us will confess that we are afraid!  It is a common emotion that strikes to the heart of us- sometimes paralyzing our next move, sometimes forcing us to move with caution, sometimes just what we need to know we are going the right way.

I recently read a book by Henry Nouwen.  He shared these words. ”
There is a story of an elderly woman that was being admitted into a psychiatric hospital.  She was wild, swinging at everything in sight.  The staff was so concerned by her behavior that they had to take everything away from her.  But she made a fist so tight and would not give up.  It took two people to pry open her clenched hand.  In it was one small coin.  It was her last possession.  Her fear made her believe  if they took it, she would have nothing more, she would be nothing more.

As I read, my immediate thought was, “I don’t want to be that woman.” Continue reading Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World

To Offer HOPE to a Hurting Friend this Christmas

I would like to introduce you to a new friend Sarah Knepper.  I have asked to share a recent post here today.  Sarah is a stay-at-home mama of four and an engineer’s Sarah Knepperwife. She is a lover of words, encourager of women, and redeemed by a grace-giving God. She holds a Master’s Degree in Elementary Education and is the Volunteer Coordinator for the women’s events at her church. And she firmly believes that Jesus and coffee can get you anything.

Continue reading To Offer HOPE to a Hurting Friend this Christmas

Let’s Do This! Sarah’s Story!

Today I made two visits that I knew I would make one year ago. One with Sarah’s mom and the other to Sarah’s husband.

I met Sarah when I was ‘the youth pastor’s wife’ and Sarah was one of the youth. She was quiet, but when she smiled, you felt like smiling with her.

SeveralSarah years later she became the ‘youth pastor’s wife’ and my husband was the lead. Her personality remained reserved, but her smile was now matched by an incredible passion for the Lord that oozed out of her and sweetly touched the lives of the young people of our church.

And me! Continue reading Let’s Do This! Sarah’s Story!