I try not to publish posts that contain all my random thoughts- but I’m processing what they have taught me.  Thought they might stir something in you too!

Recently I’ve been doing some observing about my style, energy, walk, closet, makeup, etc. with a program called Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle. I haven’t done the full video program but their free class is very informative.  I was intrigued by their interesting  tagline: How to be Beautiful Everyday!

Do you feel beautiful everyday?  

I would love to tell you I do.  That everyday I wake up confident and  smiling and eager to get dressed for the day. But some days…well, they don’t seem worth the makeup!

I have been fascinated with personality studies all my life.   People watching IS my hobby- and my job as a coach!  I love seeing how our personality styles influence the way we relate to people and tasks, or how we think in big pictures or details.   I am curious to notice the differences in people as they work out their differences.  But I find it frustrating when they look at me with blank stares as  I try to help them see why they couldn’t possibly see the issues the same way.

Enough!  Anyway this has been a good thing for me to do right now- rather life-giving.  I’ve been reminded that I have been in a dark place for quite a few years. My daughter Leisha’s death was part of it- but not all.  And this is the week before her 8th anniversary in heaven.  I have had many emotions over the past weeks- gratitude, but also a great deal of sadness.  A lot of people may think I should be past that- but I’m here to say “It changes- but it never goes away!”

As I studied my personality and energy/ my colors and style, I was challenged to dig deep to see if the pain of the last few years has changed me.  Whether it has made me more of the real me- or  caused me to be hidden under layers of darkness.  As I’ve pondered that thought, I have begun to remember some things that have always been true of me- things that are beginning to surface again.  Some of them I often thought were negative traits.  I am understanding in a new way that I felt that way because other people- with different personalities- judged me so.  How do I let them be who they are created to be and still be content with who God created me to be? People in my world need me to be me- just like I need them to be who they are.  Each one is beautiful in their own way!

When Leisha died we became aware of how many GREEN things she owned.  The day of her memorial celebration friends tied green ribbons on all of our car antennas or windshield wipers while we were in the service.  I remembered vividly the day she came bounding into the kitchen and said “Mom, guess what!  My favorite color means my favorite word.  GREEN means HOPE!”

It was GREEN that helped me see hope during the next intense years  of grieving.  We went to see WICKED on her 2nd anniversary- full of GREEN.  Brie drew a picture of her on GREEN paper. We painted her room GREEN on her 4th anniversary. I never used to wear GREEN but now I significant portion of my wardrobe is GREEN.  My coaching business is even called GREEN HOPE Coaching.

But as I studied colors and styles these last few days, I was very aware that my GREEN is different from Leisha’s.  Her’s is a vibrant, and full of energy.  Mine has more  gray in it- more subtle and soft.  Though I still find myself drawn to wearing her color GREEN- just because!  I’m finding that I can be me again.  I can wear my own shade of GREEN and feel beautiful in it.

I can face life with hope- GREEN HOPE – intentionally designing hope as I experience life,  empower love, and embrace loss.

Would you do me a favor?  Will you pay attention to a beautiful moment that involves GREEN and share it with me!  Leisha’s anniversary isn’t until August 16th.  I’m going to see how much GREEN HOPE I can see between now and then.  It beats the alternative of just being sad!  Just leave your comment below!

It may have our own flair to it now- but GREEN is BEAUTIFUL!