Category Archives: Living Intentionally

beauty, Broken, Bucket list, grief, life stories, Living Intentionally, Offering Hope

Words of Life or Death

1 Comment

The gift of a woman’s story is often what God uses to speak hope into the stories of others. My friend, Dr. Michelle Bengtson has told such a story.  It is my honor to share it with you today!

Feet (1)

Dr. Michelle Bengtson

We’ve all heard the childhood rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break by bones, but names will never hurt me.” I knew from a very young age that that was a lie. Even as I said them on the playground in response to a peer’s cruel taunts, I knew it wasn’t true.

Words hurt.

Scripture tells us that the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21), but do we teach our children that? Or do we perpetuate ignorance by reciting simple rhymes?

Having worked in the field of psychology for over 20 years, it’s evident to me that children don’t realize the long-term significance of what they say.  They behave toward others in the very same way that’s been modeled to them.

As an adult who has been wounded by the words of others since early childhood, I probably err on the side of not saying enough—not wanting to draw any more attention to myself or risk further rejection.

Only three years old when I was stricken with an undiagnosable and life threatening illness, I was left to deal with the physical and emotional ramifications the rest of my life. Continue reading Words of Life or Death →

life lessons, Living Intentionally, Pay Attention

Check the rear view mirror!

Leave a comment

I was recently reminded of a little illustration I have used often. It goes something like this.

When you drive home today, you’ve got a big windshield on the front of your car. And you’ve got a little bitty rear view mirror. And the reason the windshield is so large and the rear view mirror is so small is because what’s happened in your past is not near as important as what’s in your future. –Joel Osteen

travelOk! There is much truth there.  It is important that we get a clear perspective of what is ahead and where we are going. With that in mind we can increase the momentum to reaching our destination.  If we spend so much time focusing on our past- we can literally come to a complete halt with any forward movement.

But ya’ll!  We have a rear view mirror for a reason! Continue reading Check the rear view mirror! →

beauty, GHC opportunities, influence, LIFE, Living Intentionally, unique design, Uniquely U

Being YOU…bravely!

Leave a comment

I stole that title from a MOPS group I spoke at in December.  It’s their theme for the year.  More and more, I’m finding it to be mine.

Ever since I started my business as a life coach, I have been on a journey of finding confidence in my new business.  I’ve done this professionally for 4 years now, and though I’ve gained a great deal of confidence in what I can offer a client, it doesn’t take much to cause me to question myself again.  Especially this past couple of weeks as I have met 4 or 5 life coaches in our area.

Yep!  There I went again!  “O who do I think I am to be able to compete or win the comparison with those amazing coaches!”

But we don’t just begin to doubt then.

We become weak kneed anytime we lose sight of our own beauty and begin to compare our weaknesses to the strengths of another. Click To Tweet

Continue reading Being YOU…bravely! →

Celebrate the Dance, GHC opportunities, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Marriage, Marriage Vision, Questions?, Relationship Issues

Tell us About Green Hope Coaching…

Leave a comment

I recently had an interview regarding my business and the events for married couples called “CELEBRATE the DANCE”.  Thought I’d share it with you so you can understand why this invitation is so important.

Tell us about KATHY BURRUS, GREEN HOPE COACHING:

Kathy: I am a life and marriage coach that works primarily with women in some transition of life.  In the change that occurs with  their next step, I most often hear from them “I want to do something that matters.  I want to make a difference in my world.”  I help them identify what their core values are and what ‘difference’ is most important to them.  Then we determine how to go about it.

Often in that process is the influence/ or roadblocks they have in their marriage.  These women who want to make a difference usually desire to have a stronger marriage- even if their marriage is good.  It is my heart’s cry to see couples thriving together- not settling or complacent with things as is too often the case.

Green Hope Coaching exists to create safe and stimulating environments that allow women and their husbands to intentionally design hope for their life and their marriage.

WHY this is so important to you, Kathy? 

Kathy: That comes out of my own story.  Rennie & I have been married 35 years.  We KNOW the challenge couples face as we navigate the  choices and decisions within a marriage.  We’ve had times in our lives that we think we are going the same place, have the same vision.  Suddenly we end up in two different places and wonder how that happened. What we forget is that our expectation, preferences and assumptions often cause us to ‘think’ we’ve communicated clearly about where we are headed, but miss the mark by, what could be tiny differences of thought. 

Along with that are some seasons of life where one partner or the other is really struggling. For instance, after our daughter died, everything seemed too hard.  I wanted to care for my husband and family, but sometimes grief is paralyzing.  It was in that moment that Rennie stepped up in a new way for me.  He reached out for me and held on to me when I couldn’t hold on to him.  I hate to think where we might be if he had not. 

WHAT are some ways you speak to women/ couples and the issues they face?

Continue reading Tell us About Green Hope Coaching… →

Celebrate the Dance, GHC opportunities, Intimacy, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Love Language, Marriage, Marriage Vision, persistance, Relationship Issues, roles and relationships

Who is carrying your team?

Leave a comment

How many times in your marriage relationship have you asked a question that begins with “What if?”

She asks “What if I go to all this effort & he doesn’t notice?”

He asks, “What if I try & she rejects me and says it’s not good enough?”

So many things we decide not to do because of ‘What if?”

But what if we both get serious about this relationship and be willing to do the next hard thing.  We want so much for love to be easy, but it’s not.  It is hard to humble ourselves and give

Out of love

true love

God given love

That we committed to at some point in our life.

Too often somewhere along the line, one or both of us started living complacent.  We became willing to get by

Not addressing the issues

Letting things ride

But under the surface we are starting to feel something

A disappointment

Or an aggravation

Or an anger

That begins to boil

And creates an internal distance

Which eventually becomes a visible distance!

Then it becomes much more difficult to work through than if we faced it right away.

I know- I KNOW- it’s hard!
Ren & I have been married 35 years- WE KNOW!

But Continue reading Who is carrying your team? →

Intimacy, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Marriage, Passion Pursuit, Relationship Issues, Sex, Uncategorized, VALIANT MAN

1400! What could this mean?

Leave a comment

An amazing thing happened!  Ren and I sat down for 6 minutes to share our heart for marriages & intimacy through this little video.

WE HAVE HAD OVER 1400 Views
since we posted it on 3 days ago.  Amazing!

So I’ve had to ask myself what is all the interest about???  I’ve asked a few people and here is what they said.

1. Our daughter said, “It’s just good to see the two of you doing this together.”  It is fun!  We are enjoying it too!  For a long time, I’ve helped him with his job, or he with mine.  We are enjoying doing this together- even if we each facilitate our own class.

2. One person said, “I was trying to figure out what you did to make Rennie do this video? ”  I simply asked if he would be willing.  He is all in.  He is really seeing the value of this material- this discussion about a topic that is often hushed.  He is seeing men- not just husbands, but all men respond to the truth about their God given sexuality and the tools they gain to deal with their desires in a godly way.

3. Another said, “I just saw your passion for my marriage and it was contagious!”    If that’s it,  Hallelujah!  People! If we don’t make an intentional stand for holiness and purity in our sexual thoughts and relationships, the enemy is. If the marriage in a home is damaged, our families will be that much more vulnerable.  We will be attacked on every front; our thought life, our response to visual stimulus, or the touch of another, or the attention of another.  If we are married, let’s choose our spouse.  If we are single, let’s choose wholeness!

Women- God is calling us to use our gifts to make a difference in our world.  We have more options for building the marriage we long for, or living passionate lives than we are willing to acknowledge.

Men- God is calling you to be valiant men!  Men that recognize the roles, the desires God has given them and is willing to take the challenge.

YES IT IS HARD! Yes it is!  Ren and I have experienced that over and over again in our marriage.  But God didn’t design us this way destroy us, but to give us the opportunity every day to choose Him!
To choose life for ourselves and those we love!
To reflect Him to our world!

Consider joining the GHC groups being offered regarding this topic. The start date has been pushed back to Saturday, January 24th It’s not to late.  CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER!

If you are from out of town, email me at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.  I have some options for you too!

Come on ya’ll!  Let’s do this!  1400 more times!!!!

Fresh start, GHC opportunities, Intimacy, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Love Language, Marriage, Marriage Vision, Questions?, Relationship Issues, roles and relationships, Sex

I do love you! I think?

Leave a comment

You look over at this person next to you!

You still see his handsome features, the ones that attracted you to him when you first met. You see the lines that are forming on his face, just as they are on yours.  You know that look when one eye brow seems to clamp tighter around his eye, while the other one remains the same- as if one part of him was uptight and the other part relaxed.

You look at her, years of motherhood and caring for a family and her world have changed her.  But peering from behind all that are the eyes of the beautiful, young girl that won your heart so long ago.  She still reaches up and plays with that small tuft of hair right by her ear as she is deep in thought or developing some creative vision.

You love him!  You love her! Really love from a place so deep you never knew it existed.

But today….Argh! Continue reading I do love you! I think? →

Fresh start, LIFE, life stories, Living Intentionally, Pay Attention

Delight for 2015!

Leave a comment

I have struggled to find the right WORD for the new year!

I usual pick one, or a few to remind me what I want to be about.

For the last two years I chose

  • GIVE the gift of PRESENCE
  • EXPERIENCE VITALITY
  • GENERATE INSPIRATION
  • GRAB HOLD of FREEDOM
  • TAKE PLATFORMS to INFLUENCE

They have been good words which continue to remind me what I want to be about. I made progress in each area but have significant steps that remain. You may not know what I mean by them. But I do. I read them over regularly in an effort to stay focused on my purpose.

But I was struck yesterday morning as Rennie was preaching for a pastor friend was on vacation. He used Psalm 1 “Blessed is the one who….” Continue reading Delight for 2015! →

business, Fresh start, GHC opportunities, Goals, Green Hope Coaching, LIFE, Living Intentionally, Marriage Vision, Pay Attention, Questions?, Relationship Issues

Before the Resolution!

Leave a comment

What keeps us from Keeping our New Year’s Resolutions? 

  1. We make resolutions or goals that are NOT true to ourselves.

Often goals are task oriented- which is great for the task oriented person who loves to check off a list of things done, who does a task for the sake of the task needing to be done.

But that doesn’t work for the person who is relational at the core- like me.  I don’t do things just because they need to be done.  I do them because it affects a relationship I care about.

Simple example, a task oriented person does the dishes because they need to be done.

A relational person does them because their spouse or their family benefit from having them done.

 So lets use ‘health’  as one of our resolutions for 2015, because chances are it is on everyone’s list to some degree.   The task oriented person will likely choose that goal because they see that this needs to be done to do life well.  The relational person will choose this goal because they want to be in the lives of the people in their world.

 Now I know that is over simplifying  because many of us have a bit of task and relationship in our personality.  But understanding this about yourself can be very freeing.   You begin to realize you are not right- or wrong- just different.

 A question you can ask is  Continue reading Before the Resolution! →