How many times do we go out of our way to do something really great for our spouse- something we would really love if they did it for us- only to have it fall flat when we give our offering? We’re left with our mouth gaping and our hands empty in shock. Too often, our response is to quickly think, “Well, if that’s how he/she is going to respond, I won’t bother to try next time! We’ll see how they like that!”
Unfortunately, that happens far to often!
We work hard to learn to communicate with our spouse, but many times we forget to learn what our definitions are regarding love. I say, “I love spending time with you!” and I mean, I love the time we spend together sharing our hearts and hearing your dreams and fears. He says, “I love spending time with you” and he means I love working together on a project, or cuddling together in bed. Both show love, but sometimes we’re not meaning the same things as we try to communicate.
Gary Chapman, in his book 5 Love Languages, challenges us to learn each other’s language. To get clear on the vernacular that makes your special someone’s heart soar. And to know what you love, so that you can be tell your partner what you need from them.
The 5 Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
Find out your love language here! Encourage your spouse to take the assessment too! There are tools to help you identify ways to speak the love language of your partner with great success. Your marriage will thank you!
