What keeps us from Keeping our New Year’s Resolutions?
- We make resolutions or goals that are NOT true to ourselves.
Often goals are task oriented- which is great for the task oriented person who loves to check off a list of things done, who does a task for the sake of the task needing to be done.
But that doesn’t work for the person who is relational at the core- like me. I don’t do things just because they need to be done. I do them because it affects a relationship I care about.
Simple example, a task oriented person does the dishes because they need to be done.
A relational person does them because their spouse or their family benefit from having them done.
So lets use ‘health’ as one of our resolutions for 2015, because chances are it is on everyone’s list to some degree. The task oriented person will likely choose that goal because they see that this needs to be done to do life well. The relational person will choose this goal because they want to be in the lives of the people in their world.
Now I know that is over simplifying because many of us have a bit of task and relationship in our personality. But understanding this about yourself can be very freeing. You begin to realize you are not right- or wrong- just different.
A question you can ask is “Do I see this as a task to be done – or a tool to build a relationship?
2. This ties in closely with our WHY? When we make our resolutions, but do not connect with WHY this resolution must be accomplished in this new year, we are able to disconnect with the goal very easily.
Why MUST I accomplish this resolution? Not because an outside source, like spouse or family or boss, says you must. This is a MUST within YOU that gives your resolution value. An easy way to get to your bottom line- core WHY is to just keep asking WHY?
Why do I want Good health is 2015?
Because I want to feel better, Why?
So that I can do more things. Why?
So I can travel. Why?
So I can see my kids and do things with them? Ok, why?
So I can know them – and the things that are important to them
and they can know me. Why?
So I can make a difference in their life. And they can know I love them.
So- who created those WHY’s? Those are a relational persons WHY? I want to be in relationship, to make a difference in a life.
A task oriented person might be more like this:
I want good health so I can feel better. Why?
So I can do more things. Why?
I want to accomplish my goal
I genuinely want to feel better
Because I don’t like feeling bad
No body likes being sick
We want to be healthier longer
We can choose to do things that prolong our ability to stay active.
To enjoy life
To do the things we desire to do
So I don’t struggle like our parents
Be self sufficient and independent.
Two different WHY’s for the same goal. Neither is wrong- just different.
3. Another reason we may not complete our resolutions is that we are not clear in writing them .
Having good health in 2015 can mean so many different things as we mentioned earlier. If we are not specific-how do we know if we’ve ever reach our goal?
So…make your goals as specific as possible.
I want to establish good health by…
- Eliminating the ‘whites’ in my diet, i.e. pasta, potatoes & breads and eat a diet rich in the rainbow colors of vegetables and proteins.
- Or joining the gym and working out 30 minutes 5 times a week
- Or adding more exercise to my life by walking more, parking farther from the store, taking the stairs, etc.
- Or by hiring a counselor to deal with past emotional issues
- Or hiring a coach to help me process the next steps to my dream.
- Or it might be a combination of the above.
All of the above are related to Health, but we address our health goal by being specific. This helps us get where we want to be.
4. The last thing I alluded to as I shared possible health goals. It is important in keeping a resolution that we place ourselves in a position of accountability.
We may be able to work with an exercise buddy or touch base with a friend also wanting to eat well. But sometimes we let each other off the hook- and become our enabler to quit rather than keep going.
So what if you hire a coach
- to help us remember our style,
- and our WHY
- and the specific goal we are attempting to reach
Not to mention, they will help us
- create a working timeline
- and identify and strategize ways to overcome the obstacles that keep getting in our way
Depending on your goals, if we stay with the health goal you may work with a
- health coach
- a fitness trainer
- a dietitian
If your goal is related to finance- then a financial coach.
If your goal is a better marriage- a marriage coach.
If your goal is a stronger team in your business- a business coach
I hire coaches in my own life, for business, for coaching, for writing, for speaking – and for my life & relationships. I have found incredible value and forward movement in those coaching relationships. They help me know what I want and how to make it happen.
That’s WHY I do what I do! I’m a coach! I love helping people intentionally design hope for their life and their relationships.
Email kathy@greenhopecoaching .com to set up a single session to get you on track. Often clients set up 3 sessions at a time- one a week, or once a month- the choice is yours.
My WHY is to partner with you to help you accomplish yours!
Let’s do this together!
Happy New Year!
Kathy
P.S. Some of my favorite RESOURCES are:
Michael Hyatt: The Best Year Ever
Gary Ryan Blair: 100 Day Challenge
Paul Evans: 90 day challenge with 5 stones