I recently attended the funeral, actually, the celebration of life of a 23 year old daughter of a friend.
The uncanny timing of this particular event was not lost on me. As I sat at this funeral, I was reminded of another that took place just one week shy of 11 years ago- in the same church- led by the same pastor. It was a funeral I was very much a part of since the life being celebrated was my 15 year old daughter, Leisha.
I didn’t have to go to this young woman’s memorial service. I didn’t know her, though over the years, I have often been encouraged by her family. I argued with myself I didn’t need to go because there would be so many people at this service, they wouldn’t miss me.
But I couldn’t NOT be there. Just as so many had done for us when Leisha died, every thing in me urged me to make the effort to go. Every thought I had about it said I must attend.
I sat in the middle of a row surrounded by people I have come to care about deeply. I was struck by the emotions that were welling up in me. Not the numbing grief as I had experienced 11 years ago (though my heart does grieve for what this family has yet to experience). No my emotion this time was gratitude.
It occurred to me that we don’t always go to a funeral because we know the deceased or even because of our relationship with those who did. Often we find ourselves there because of other reasons. In fact, I might argue that these are opportunities for us to be grateful! Continue reading 6 Reasons to Be Grateful at a Funeral
This is a ‘new’ season for me. It’s a time when I am FIERCELY taking on some issues in my life- mostly related to my health.
For the last 12 years, I’ve slept more than I’ve done anything. There have been so many days spent trying just to get the most important thing done. I’ve talked about getting serious about my weight, and my blood sugar.
For the last 5 years or so, I’ve been choosing one BIG thing to focus on. One year it was a new coaching program for Green Hope Coaching. Another year it was following up on a coaching credential and certification. Of course one- or two years I spent writing and publishing the book, Lovely Traces of Hope.
This year I knew that I had to make ME the focus. I chose to be intentional about me. I made an appointment with a Dr. that specialized with endocrine issues. I committed to a 21 Day Detox. I cleaned out my fridge and goody shelf and started to create a new menu for the week.
But this morning Continue reading Are You Waiting For Tomorrow?
This past week, I have been working intently to finish up details for publishing the Lovely Traces of Hope book. I had one of those moments as I sat late into the night reading/ editing/ proofing yet again through my own story.
For the umpteenth time, I was reading through Chapter 14, Turning East, which I have sent to many of you already. (Click here if you haven’t read it yet.) In that chapter, I share excerpts of Jerry Sittser’s book called A Grace Disguised. Jerry literally led me through much of my grief through the sharing of his own story.
Several months ago as I was reworking that chapter for the book, I sent Jerry a letter to thank him for being bold enough to share his story because of the influence it has had in mine.
Here was his reply…
Continue reading Thank you Professor Sittser
I was sittting at the Arby’s across from the mall in the area that is all window. People watching at its best. The sky was clear with the exception of a few, very small, very white clouds slowly drifting by. What a beautiful day!
Every thing about this moment was life-giving. Even the woman Continue reading A Book to Proof
by Kathy Burrus
There is a sacred space
Between life and death
Hope and doubt
Faith and fear
A space that leaves you feeling as if each foot is in a different world
And the whirling of emotions leaves you either paralyzed in or running
To or from, in or out
It sometimes doesn’t matter
You find yourself wrestling in a moment of crisis Continue reading Sacred Space
Recently a new friend asked the common question, “What do you do for a living?”
I hesitated for a moment. Thoughts flashed through my head of the past couple of weeks. Of conversations I’ve had with clients and friends. I know what my job description is, but is it what I actually do?
I became a life coach because I got to help people, particularly women, identify where they are and where they want to go! One of my favorite things to do is to partner with someone to create an action plan for their dream.
However, recently I’ve been more of a Psalm 77 coach than a life coach. Have you never heard of a Psalm 77 coach? Yeah, me neither. I just made it up!
Here’s why I use the title Psalm 77.
When I start working with a client, I often ask just two questions.
1) What do you want to talk about today?
2) What do you want to have to feel successful in this session?
If a client can answers those questions at the beginning of the session, we can make incredible progress.
However, what I find most often is before a woman can accomplish what she wants to be true of her, she has to grieve what isn’t!
It sounds something like this! Continue reading What do you do …?
I have struggled to find the right WORD for the new year!
I usual pick one, or a few to remind me what I want to be about.
For the last two years I chose
- GIVE the gift of PRESENCE
- EXPERIENCE VITALITY
- GENERATE INSPIRATION
- GRAB HOLD of FREEDOM
- TAKE PLATFORMS to INFLUENCE
They have been good words which continue to remind me what I want to be about. I made progress in each area but have significant steps that remain. You may not know what I mean by them. But I do. I read them over regularly in an effort to stay focused on my purpose.
But I was struck yesterday morning as Rennie was preaching for a pastor friend was on vacation. He used Psalm 1 “Blessed is the one who….” Continue reading Delight for 2015!
What keeps us from Keeping our New Year’s Resolutions?
- We make resolutions or goals that are NOT true to ourselves.
Often goals are task oriented- which is great for the task oriented person who loves to check off a list of things done, who does a task for the sake of the task needing to be done.
But that doesn’t work for the person who is relational at the core- like me. I don’t do things just because they need to be done. I do them because it affects a relationship I care about.
Simple example, a task oriented person does the dishes because they need to be done.
A relational person does them because their spouse or their family benefit from having them done.
So lets use ‘health’ as one of our resolutions for 2015, because chances are it is on everyone’s list to some degree. The task oriented person will likely choose that goal because they see that this needs to be done to do life well. The relational person will choose this goal because they want to be in the lives of the people in their world.
Now I know that is over simplifying because many of us have a bit of task and relationship in our personality. But understanding this about yourself can be very freeing. You begin to realize you are not right- or wrong- just different.
A question you can ask is Continue reading Before the Resolution!
I was challenged by my story partner friend to take Kate Motaung’s challenge to write a letter to grief. Since it ties in with my recent series on Living Open Handed, I choose to share this here also.
I don’t think I want to talk to you!
I’ve spent so many years struggling to survive your choke hold on my life!
I’ve crawled through your tunnel
Filled with muck- dark and slimy
So deep that with each step I sunk farther
Until it began to paralyze my legs
Then my torso and my arms
Finally my face
Silencing my voice
Blind folding my sight
Dulling my ability to hear as you filled my ears with your lies.
I could barely find my next breath
let alone move.
Continue reading Living Open Handed: Dear Grief