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A Broken Thanksgiving

It is Thanksgiving Eve, though I have seldom heard it described in such a way, not like Christmas Eve or New Years Eve. But tonight it seems appropriate. It is the day before ‘the day’ set aside for thanks and gratitude.

Yet I sit huddled on my sofa, tears just boiling under the surface waiting to spill over. Emotions are all over the place and I wonder if I will ever again feel free to experience joy without a deep sense of sadness.

If all the conditions were right, Continue reading A Broken Thanksgiving

Hope in the Midst of the Storm

Rennie Burrus was asked to share his Leisha story through loss to hope at Cable Road Alliance Church on Sunday, August 2. Ren asked me to share a bit of mine as well. You can listen in at the link.

Hope in the Midst of the Storm –
Podcast by Rennie and Kathy Burrus

Cable Road Alliance Church’s Podcast

BUZZSPROUT.COM

What? Me? Worry?

If you are a regular follower of www.greenhopecoaching.com, you may have noticed that there was a great deal of time that lapsed between my blog on April 28th- and my post last week.

Considering the fact that I am a blogger, that space of time concerned me.  You see, it wasn’t just the blog, but I wasn’t writing original content for much of anything, including the book that I told everyone about in my April 28th post.

I must admit I was overwhelmed by the response to that post on my website and Facebook.

  • Nearly 13,000- yes, that many 0’s- were reached with that post thanks to several of you who shared the post to your own Facebook friends.
  • 1,200 of those friends visited my website and actually read the blog post.
  • Over 350 of them engaged with me some way; leaving a message, a prayer response, a memory, a picture.
  • plus there were almost 75 others who signed up to support me and the project with prayer.

I have been overflowing with gratitude.  While overwhelmed is not quite the right word, I do have a confession.  As the responses started coming in, I found myself writing less and less on the book.  Honestly, in the last 8 weeks, I have not written much at all.

What- Me-Worry-As I have pondered my action- or lack of it, I realize that I was worrying!

I just listened in to an interview with Mitch Matthews of Dream, Think, Do over at the Self-Publishing Summit going on with Chandler Bolt.

Mitch talked about how worry keeps us from focusing.  Worry strangles the ability to see ahead or to think through options.

I felt the weight of expectations that others might have on me – on this book- and I just stopped writing. I felt paralyzed almost.  The more I tried to get in the right frame of mind, the more stress I felt.  And if you know me- stress puts me down faster than anything.  I spent much of early spring sleeping.  Some of you know what I mean.

But Mitch gave a great outline of how to overcome worry.  I was grateful to realize that I had been taking some of those steps without naming them.  But I did want to share them.

3 Steps to PUNCHING Worry in the face

Step 1: Acknowledge it

Step 2: Address it by Replacing it

Step 3: Do Something Intentional

I had to ACKNOWLEDGE my worry finally.

  • What am I concerned about?
  • What if I’m not a good enough writer?
  • What if I can’t tell my deeply personal stories of my life in a way that helps anyone?
  • How will the book be received by others?
  • Can I really pull off the cost- both money, time, etc.

They are real, tangible things to be concerned about. But Mitch reminded us that most issues can be dealt with and overcome with a little training.  Or with knowing the right people to make it happen.

Yet, most people get so caught up in the fear, they don’t acknowledge the fear and overcome it.

There is good and bad worry!

Good worry- keeps you out of dark alleys!  It flips the light on so you can see what ‘s out there!

Maybe the thing that causes you to worry is something you need to give attention.  Sometimes worry is a precursor to identifying something that will help you do great.

For instance, look at my worries above

  • I can take classes and workshops to become a better writer.
  • I can work with close friends and coaches to help me tell my story in a way that is full of hope for others.
  • I can break down tasks of writing or research into smaller chunks of time.  If I do a little everyday, it won’t be so overwhelming and yet I can make a great deal of progress in the long run.

Bad worry hold you back like mine was doing for me. There are things that you can do nothing about .  That is the worry you must let go of.

So using the worry I have above about how others will receive the book, I have no control over that.  I know there is interest from the responses to the April 28 post I shared earlier.  But I can’t control how those same people my respond to the book.   So I need to let it go.

But  how….!

TO BE CONTINUED>>> Click Here! 

Part 2: Doin’ Something about Worry!

1400! What could this mean?

An amazing thing happened!  Ren and I sat down for 6 minutes to share our heart for marriages & intimacy through this little video.

WE HAVE HAD OVER 1400 Views
since we posted it on 3 days ago.  Amazing!

So I’ve had to ask myself what is all the interest about???  I’ve asked a few people and here is what they said.

1. Our daughter said, “It’s just good to see the two of you doing this together.”  It is fun!  We are enjoying it too!  For a long time, I’ve helped him with his job, or he with mine.  We are enjoying doing this together- even if we each facilitate our own class.

2. One person said, “I was trying to figure out what you did to make Rennie do this video? ”  I simply asked if he would be willing.  He is all in.  He is really seeing the value of this material- this discussion about a topic that is often hushed.  He is seeing men- not just husbands, but all men respond to the truth about their God given sexuality and the tools they gain to deal with their desires in a godly way.

3. Another said, “I just saw your passion for my marriage and it was contagious!”    If that’s it,  Hallelujah!  People! If we don’t make an intentional stand for holiness and purity in our sexual thoughts and relationships, the enemy is. If the marriage in a home is damaged, our families will be that much more vulnerable.  We will be attacked on every front; our thought life, our response to visual stimulus, or the touch of another, or the attention of another.  If we are married, let’s choose our spouse.  If we are single, let’s choose wholeness!

Women- God is calling us to use our gifts to make a difference in our world.  We have more options for building the marriage we long for, or living passionate lives than we are willing to acknowledge.

Men- God is calling you to be valiant men!  Men that recognize the roles, the desires God has given them and is willing to take the challenge.

YES IT IS HARD! Yes it is!  Ren and I have experienced that over and over again in our marriage.  But God didn’t design us this way destroy us, but to give us the opportunity every day to choose Him!
To choose life for ourselves and those we love!
To reflect Him to our world!

Consider joining the GHC groups being offered regarding this topic. The start date has been pushed back to Saturday, January 24th It’s not to late.  CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER!

If you are from out of town, email me at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.  I have some options for you too!

Come on ya’ll!  Let’s do this!  1400 more times!!!!

The moments that will change us!

I hesitate to write this blog post today- let alone publish it.  I have so many intimate emotions still tied to it.  As I’ve pondered the passing of Robin Williams last week, I realize that to not share is to not tell my whole story.  I want to be authentic in my story.  I believe as I share, perhaps someone else will be helped.

This week is the 8th anniversary of our daughter’s death.  Leisha died August 16th, 2006.  I’ve known it was coming.  I’ve shed many tears over the last few weeks feeling different aspects of her absence  and celebrating her life as well.  Each year has been different when her birthday or anniversary rolls around.

But yesterday, for some reason the intensity of that loss squeezed in on me so tightly I thought I couldn’t breathe another breath. Continue reading The moments that will change us!

Discovering my own shade of GREEN!

I try not to publish posts that contain all my random thoughts- but I’m processing what they have taught me.  Thought they might stir something in you too!

Recently I’ve been doing some observing about my style, energy, walk, closet, makeup, etc. with a program called Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle. I haven’t done the full video program but their free class is very informative.  I was intrigued by their interesting  tagline: How to be Beautiful Everyday!

Do you feel beautiful everyday?  

I would love to tell you I do.  That everyday I wake up confident and  smiling and eager to get dressed for the day. But some days…well, they don’t seem worth the makeup! Continue reading Discovering my own shade of GREEN!

Just to clarify

So I asked Rennie if he would be willing to ‘guest’ post on this website.  He hesitated.

‘”Don’t you want to write something?” I queried!

“I don’t mind writing something”, he replied.   “But I’m afraid people will think that I/ we think I/we have got it all together.   We don’t!”

But we still love each other, don’t we?

Yes!

And we are still learning and figuring things out  at each new season of life, right?

Yes!

Can you write about what you/we are learning in the process?

Sure!  As long as they don’t think I think I’m an expert in this area!

So… here is an overall disclaimer. 

Ren and I don’t pretend that we have it all together.

Neither do we do all the right stuff all the time.

Don’t even begin to think that we do!

Or that we think we do!

We don’t!

But… we are still learning- just like you.   I dare say we are getting  more adept at it, but if we waited till we ‘had it together’ this blog  would never have a post in it.

Plus we are willing to share what we are learning as we do! Maybe you are too!  We’d love to hear from you.

Join us in the journey, won’t you?

So…you got a plan?

Most couples, well actually, most people are ‘passive spectators’ of life. They may even be very busy people, urgently trying to get things done. They may plan for their careers, or the new house, or that great vacation. Yet they never even think of spending that kind of time and energy to plan their life. So naturally, they probably aren’t doing the planning work on their marriage either.

I know! I’ve been there! We’ve been there! Somehow we get so busy planning pieces of our life that we don’t take time to look at the whole of life. And where we want to be in the long haul.

But I have had the opportunity to stop and look at the big picture of my life during the past few weeks. I’m not ‘done’ with it- but already we are both seeing some significant outcomes in some major areas. The changes haven’t been easy, but I think Ren and I both would say, it is ‘transformational’!

For instance, one thought that has really challenged me came from Linda Dillow, in her book, What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?

In your mind’s eye, visualize yourself going to a funeral of a loved one.  Picture yourself driving to the church, parking the car, and getting out.  As you enter the sanctuary, you hear your favorite song being played, you see the faces of friends and family and feel the sorrow of loss and the joy of having known that is so evident on their faces.  As you walk to the front of the church, you come face-to-face with—you!  With disbelief, you realize that this is your funeral- 30 years from today.  The people gathered together are here to express their love and appreciation for your life.  

Numb with shock, you are led to a seat and handed a program. You open it up and see that there are to be 3 speakers.  

Now think long and hard!

  • Who would those 3 speakers be in your life?
  • What would you like them to say about you?
  • What character qualities would you like them to have seen in you?
  • What kind of relationship would you want him/her to describe?
If one of those speakers is your spouse,
  • what do you want your husband/wife to say about you after many years of marriage?
  • What kind of love relationship would you want him to describe?
  • What kind of love would you have wanted him to have received from you during all these years?

If you really take time to think about this, you will discover who and what is really important to you; and what your deepest values are.   To begin with the end in view helps you align your values with your choices- and that begins transformation.  You begin living in the context of what is most important to you!

So…what is it?  What do you want to be about?  What do you want to be true of you?

You got a plan?

(We’ll talk more about that in the next post!  I’m sure you’ve had so much fun doing this exercise, you’ll want to know more!  Ok!  So I know it’s work!  But you are worth it!  And so is your marriage! See you soon!)