Category Archives: Sex

Does God want me to be Sensuous?

So what do you think?  Does the Bible teach us to be sensuous women? Some of you are thinking Kathy’s talking about sex again.  Maybe! But maybe not!

I have had some interesting dialog with women who desire to be all that God has created them to be.  But they are not sure what to do with issues of sexuality/ sensuality when they are single and longing to honor the Lord.

 

I have heard one woman after another share that much of the pain in their life has to do with wrestling with issues related to sexual or sensual issues.  There is God’s view to reckon with which has been confusing to women on so many levels.  There is the world’s view which seems to indicate to just ‘be free’ sexually.  However much of the ache these women now feel is because those behaviors don’t feel free like it does in the movies.

So can we be single and sexual?  What does God want from us if he created us to be sexual beings, whether we are married or single, while the Bible teaches that sex is reserved for marriage.

Dr. Juli Slattery of AuthenticIntimacy.com hits the mark as she addresses this topic in her 2 minute Thought called Can I Be Single and Sexual?  Juli reminds us that our sexuality is not compartmentalized waiting for marriage, it is integrated into all the aspects of who you are; intellectual, relational and spiritual. 

We are geared to immediately associate sexuality with sexual pleasure.  But it actually serves a much greater purpose.  Juli goes on to say that sexuality is about intimacy and relationship. The core aspect of our sexuality is the yearning to be known and share intimately with another person, which is expressed fully in marriage.  My sexuality as a woman deeply impacts how I relate to others- outside the bedroom. 

(Be sure you listen in to hear the rest of Juli’s comments. There is a wealth of information for married or single women at authenticintimacy.com.)

As I pondered how we might experience intimacy that was not sexual, especially for the single woman, I dug a little further with a word study on the word SENSUOUS which is defined as “anything that is pleasing to the senses”.  In other words, anything that we touch, taste, see, smell and hear.  There are many ways we can experience intimacy in

  • a furry kitten resting calmly in our hands
  • a delicious meal shared with friends
  • a beautiful sunset filling our sight
  • a pie baking in the oven smelling so good, tasting even better
  • an incredible symphony
Each of our senses are faithful, loving reminders that God is breaking into our world to speak… Click To Tweet

These are examples of sensuous things make our senses happy, but they also nurture us and allow us to know a deep joy and possibly meaningful intimacy with relationships of family and friends.

I understand that many times the effects of past encounters, or abuse related to sexual activity can taint the purity of a sensation. Certain senses can become triggers for memories or behaviors that you are desperately trying to avoid.

So often, rather than risk something “unpleasant” (though it might be much more damaging than that word denotes), we end up closing ourselves off to everything that might stir our senses.

But remember, God is a redeeming God.  He created you to be sexual.  He gave you your senses to live fully alive.  Yes, there is pain!  Yes, there is pain that needs healing, and your senses maybe part of that.

But each of our senses are faithful, loving reminders that God is breaking into our world everyday to speak his words of love to us.

What is it that God is inviting you into as you consider how to live sensuously as a sexual being?  Maybe you have some questions about what that would look like.  I know some women who are making it work.  Let’s have that discussion together.

In the mean time, Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

1400! What could this mean?

An amazing thing happened!  Ren and I sat down for 6 minutes to share our heart for marriages & intimacy through this little video.

WE HAVE HAD OVER 1400 Views
since we posted it on 3 days ago.  Amazing!

So I’ve had to ask myself what is all the interest about???  I’ve asked a few people and here is what they said.

1. Our daughter said, “It’s just good to see the two of you doing this together.”  It is fun!  We are enjoying it too!  For a long time, I’ve helped him with his job, or he with mine.  We are enjoying doing this together- even if we each facilitate our own class.

2. One person said, “I was trying to figure out what you did to make Rennie do this video? ”  I simply asked if he would be willing.  He is all in.  He is really seeing the value of this material- this discussion about a topic that is often hushed.  He is seeing men- not just husbands, but all men respond to the truth about their God given sexuality and the tools they gain to deal with their desires in a godly way.

3. Another said, “I just saw your passion for my marriage and it was contagious!”    If that’s it,  Hallelujah!  People! If we don’t make an intentional stand for holiness and purity in our sexual thoughts and relationships, the enemy is. If the marriage in a home is damaged, our families will be that much more vulnerable.  We will be attacked on every front; our thought life, our response to visual stimulus, or the touch of another, or the attention of another.  If we are married, let’s choose our spouse.  If we are single, let’s choose wholeness!

Women- God is calling us to use our gifts to make a difference in our world.  We have more options for building the marriage we long for, or living passionate lives than we are willing to acknowledge.

Men- God is calling you to be valiant men!  Men that recognize the roles, the desires God has given them and is willing to take the challenge.

YES IT IS HARD! Yes it is!  Ren and I have experienced that over and over again in our marriage.  But God didn’t design us this way destroy us, but to give us the opportunity every day to choose Him!
To choose life for ourselves and those we love!
To reflect Him to our world!

Consider joining the GHC groups being offered regarding this topic. The start date has been pushed back to Saturday, January 24th It’s not to late.  CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER!

If you are from out of town, email me at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.  I have some options for you too!

Come on ya’ll!  Let’s do this!  1400 more times!!!!

I do love you! I think?

You look over at this person next to you!

You still see his handsome features, the ones that attracted you to him when you first met. You see the lines that are forming on his face, just as they are on yours.  You know that look when one eye brow seems to clamp tighter around his eye, while the other one remains the same- as if one part of him was uptight and the other part relaxed.

You look at her, years of motherhood and caring for a family and her world have changed her.  But peering from behind all that are the eyes of the beautiful, young girl that won your heart so long ago.  She still reaches up and plays with that small tuft of hair right by her ear as she is deep in thought or developing some creative vision.

You love him!  You love her! Really love from a place so deep you never knew it existed.

But today….Argh! Continue reading I do love you! I think?

Is your marriage on your list?

Did your marriageThe beginning of the next- a new page, a new start!  We did or didn’t make resolutions about our health, our job, and our future. We set goals for our projects for the year.  We chose a WORD to focus on. We clarified our vision!  All great stuff!  And probably you either feel invigorated by the process or it has left you feeling a weight that seems overwhelming!

I made three resolutions this year with more specifics than I’l share here, but this will give you the general idea. Continue reading Is your marriage on your list?

FAQ: I’m not married, NAKED TRUTH isn’t for me, right?

FAQ: The Naked Truth
I’ve got questions

Q: I’m not married- so this isn’t for me, right?

Nonsense!  You are a woman!  You were created as a sexual being.  You were created to desire intimacy.

 

Whether you are:

  • Married and want to grow your marriage
  • Married and want out of your marriage
  • Formerly married and dealing with the loss of a marriage
  • Never been married and wishing you were
  • Or single and glad of it

We are all longing to be known and loved for who we really are. The thing is that our view of intimacy has been skewed in so many ways. What we think is true is nothing but a distorted view of what God intended  for us.

What if you could see intimacy & sexuality for what God really meant for us to experience?  No, it doesn’t mean life will be perfect- but it can mean that we will be seeing ALL of life from a new vantage point.  It can mean that we will understand how cherished and loved we really are- and the freedom we have to be deeply loved.

Single, married or single again!  You are invited and welcome to attend The NAKED TRUTH conference.  Registration opens August 1st at www.authenticintimacy.com/lima.

Who is coming with you?

The NAKED TRUTH conference brochures are ON THEIR WAY!  7500 should be here next week. The NAKED TRUTH brochure The NAKED TRUTH brochure

The message of this conference is powerful- pointing us to God in every area of our life- but especially our sexuality. We are all created as sexual beings. That’s not negative or derogatory- THAT’S GOD DESIGN! Chances are – married or single- we have ALL dealt with issues related to our sexuality. Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery are brave enough to speak God’s Word into this discussion.

SO HERE’S THE CHALLENGE: Who do you know that needs to be invited to this conference? What church or organization needs to get a promo pack with brochures?

Continue reading Who is coming with you?

Listening for Like Voices!

A few days ago, a business woman asked me if I thought I was doing the right thing by focusing so much of my coaching business/ministry these days on someone else’s ministry.  She was referring to all the  Facebook sharing and blog posts I have written that have to do with Authentic Intimacy.  Her concern was that I was building their business and not my own.

At the time, I told her that this was something I have wanted to be part of for a long time and it was worth it for me.  But as I’ve thought about it- it is much more than that.Becoming the woman, wife & mother you long to be

You see, 35 years ago, I was given a book called Creative Counterpart written by Linda Dillow.  It was a book I went back to time and again early in my marriage and have reviewed often since.

Through the years I’ve had several opportunities to not only hear her speak – but spend time with Linda.  I’ve listened as she lived out in her spoken words what she had written in several books by now, including ‘Calm My Anxious Heart” or Intimate Issues, Intimacy Ignited or more recently What’s it Like to Be Married to Me, and Passion Pursuit. (See titles below)

Ministry in Ukraine
Kathy with Linda Dillow 2002 – Ukraine Retreat

In 2002, I was invited to lead a worship team for a women’s ministry retreat in Kiev, Ukraine.  I was thrilled when I learned the speaker was none other than Linda Dillow.

Her topic was worship- it was the beginning of her book called “Satisfy My Thirsty Soul”.  I was the so-called worship leader- but she was the one who led me in into the Presence of the Blessed Controller.

Just the two of us kneeling at her couch.
Just the two of us sitting on her big rock near her home in the foothills of Colorado.
Then with my team in Ukraine! 

Precious, intimate moments with our God!

For me, this opportunity to bring Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery to the Lima area for the NAKED TRUTH conference is an answer to a 20 year long prayer.  I told Linda then that someday, I would build a platform for her to speak her voice, God’s message to the people in my world.

It’s not just her books,
or the times she has emailed me
or the times she has cried with me,
prayed with me
worshiped with me
always showing up in my life just when I needed her message.

But that is just the point- for 35 years, she has shown up in my life  through her books,
her speaking,
her friendship
with a consistent message.
A message that pointed me time and time again to see the Lord; lifting my chin to see His face.

That’s a message I want to be part of!
It’s an act I want to be known for!
It’s a voice I want to not only have- but build a platform for when I hear others speaking that same message.

This isn’t about my ‘business’ – or even Linda’s ministry.

It’s about what God is saying and doing in the heart of women all over the world.

Those are the voices I love listening for!

How about you?

I challenge you to listen and heed the message that Linda & Juli have to give all of us in October. Click here to find out more!

In the mean time- you can find all of her books here! (and no- I’m not making money on these referrals) I believe in them that much!

Linda Dillow

Linda Dillow Linda Dillow & Lorrain PintusLinda Dillow Linda & Jody Dillow, Lorraine & Petter PintusLinda DillowLinda Dillow & Juli Slattery

Save the Date:October 3 & 4, 2014

THE NAKED TRUTH- the conference!save the date

OCTOBER 3 & 4, 2014 Shawnee Alliance Church, Lima, OH

For more information, click here!

If you are  a woman who connects with women, click here!

If you are a woman with more questions, email kathy@greenhopecoaching.com 

The NAKED Truth! the conference

I know- in days gone by we couldn’t even say the word ‘naked’ in public, let alone write about it or talk about NAKED TRUTH!

But that what we are doing- opening the discussion about intimacy- spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.  And what is more we are looking at reclaiming God’s design for intimacy.  The conversation is open, honest and unafraid.

Plan now to attend the conference called THE NAKED TRUTH: about You!  about Sex! About God!  Authors and Speakers, Linda Dillow and Dr Juli Slattery, from Authentic Intimacy, will be our special guides on

Friday evening, October 3
and Saturday morning, October 4
at Shawnee Alliance Church, Lima, OH.

Women of all ages and all seasons of life, married or single, are invited to come, to learn, to heal!

Mark your calendars now!  Registration details will listed soon.

Want to know more about Linda & Juli- and their message- go to www.authenticintimacy.com.AI webbanner