And when the challenges and losses of life threaten us, it is hard to feel safe.
And when we don’t feel safe it is hard to trust that God is present, let alone in control, let alone good.
Oh we might night say it, but our behaviors often reveal that we are not sure we believe God is who he says he is.
I’m not immune to the struggle. A few days ago Continue reading I Don’t Feel Safe
Yesterday I shared a post about heroes and side kicks.
Well, one of the highlights for me at the Tribewriter conference was to meet one of my super heroes. This is Carrie Wilkerson, recently called a SASSY entreprenuer. I have also heard it said that she is the little Texan with the big voice. She was introduced as the ‘small town girl who was able to think beyond city limits” or the ‘big sister in business and life”.
She is also Carrie Wilkerson, the Barefoot Executive. I know the picture to the right is not very good, but I wanted you to see that she lives up to her name. She came on stage with this beautiful pair of heels, but within 7 minutes of her presentation, she was barefoot. She does this regularly.
Below is a little better picture but you couldn’t see her feet.
One of the things I most admired about Carrie is that she has always been about doing what she does ‘Carrie style’.
She’s not afraid of the hard stuff- or I should say she is faithful about doing the hard thing afraid.
She is honest about what the challenges are, but will not let you get away with excuses. She’s done it! We can too!
STOP IT! She will say and did say from the stage on Sunday. “Don’t say you want something different if you are not willing to change your perspective.” Quit making excuses. Start looking at it from a different perspective.
“Don’t be paralyzed by the invisible audience.” THEY can paralyze your effort to pay your bills or invest in those around you.
What you have to offer is of VALUE. If you have something of value that will transform others and you don’t share it, you are a ‘transformation horder.”
If it is of value, you have a responsibility to share it. It is not your responsibility if they aren’t ready to accept your gift. Do it like you need to do but do it!
SHARE IT! PURSUE IT! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION!
I’ve been listening and coaching with Carrie in different ways for 10 years. She has been consistent in her message, faithful to her own calling and an example in the journey. That makes her a side kick, as well as a super hero!
Yep, she may be 12 or 15 years years younger than me, but this little gal continues to be a ‘big sister’ to speak hope into my life. I am grateful that she is mentor, coach and friend. She even wrote an endorsement for Lovely Traces of Hope. Check it out in my book.
Who is your hero?
How are they also a side kick for you in your super hero journey?
I got to give mine a hug this weekend. How can you say thank you to yours?
DO IT! PURSUE IT! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION!
Want to know more about
Kathy’s new book,
Lovely Traces of Hope,
check it out at Amazon.com today.
This weekend, I attended the TRIBEWRITER conference in Franklin, TN which is a “marketing conference for people who don’t think of themselves as marketers. It’s a gathering for writers, artists, and creative entrepreneurs to grow their craft, share their work, and get the attention their work deserves.”
In my previous post, I shared some of the effects of last years conference; the primary one was the completion of the “LOVELY TRACES OF HOPE” book which I had been working on for several years before committing to finish it.
This year, I am still sifting through the ‘one thing’ i will do because of what I learned. But…Jeff Goins, founder and host of the Tribewriter event kicked us off with a great reminder.
Jeff introduced us to his superhero son, Aiden who is 4. Aiden is Batman. He wanted Jeff to be – not Superman, like Jeff was last year, not Spiderman or The Hulk. You guessed it, Robin, Batman’s faithful sidekick.
Jeff reminded us that often, as business owners, authors and creatives of all kinds, we think our purpose is about being the super hero to our clients and readers.
In reality we are there to be a sidekick to the stories in our tribe. My story is only truly effective as I influence the reader engage with their own story.
I do that by:
- Being Present- show up, yes, but more than that- engaged!
- Being Helpful- Give first, often you will benefit, but help anyway.
- Being Brave- learning to do that next hard thing afraid.
Think like a sidekick and make it about ‘them’. The act of being allows activity to follow identity.
As I sat and listened to Jeff’s comical, but motivating challenge, I read the words on the card at my table. The picture below may be easier to read.
Ok! This is exactly why we need to be present, helpful and brave. If we dare to look into the depth of the world’s darkness, then people will be willing to listen to us as we dare to shine light into theirs.
I’ve never been very good at the super hero role. How about you? Are you a super hero? Sometimes we become one in our story out of necessity. But often it is not because we are super great – it is because we were present for someone, or helpful to them at a time when they needed us to be brave.
But who are you a side kick too right now? Is it your family or a close friend? Maybe it is a client who is counting on you to help them do what they need to do.
Well, I am Kathy, and I’m your sidekick!
So…how can I help you? What’s going on in your story? Leave a comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wondering if Kathy knows what it means to struggle to find hope in a dark place? Get Kathy’s new book called Lovely Traces of Hope?
book (not sure if it is first or only yet). I was filled with raw emotions: happy, sad, celebration and grief all mixed together. But I was in awe that this had actually come to be.
That same day two other books came out:
Both books are already best sellers on Amazon.
I chuckled to myself that all these books came out the same day. Continue reading So yesterday my book came!
This past week, I have been working intently to finish up details for publishing the Lovely Traces of Hope book. I had one of those moments as I sat late into the night reading/ editing/ proofing yet again through my own story.
For the umpteenth time, I was reading through Chapter 14, Turning East, which I have sent to many of you already. (Click here if you haven’t read it yet.) In that chapter, I share excerpts of Jerry Sittser’s book called A Grace Disguised. Jerry literally led me through much of my grief through the sharing of his own story.
Several months ago as I was reworking that chapter for the book, I sent Jerry a letter to thank him for being bold enough to share his story because of the influence it has had in mine.
Here was his reply…
This past weekend I received an email from this special lady pictured with me in the photo. Her name is Linda Dillow. The email is the forward she has written for the book, Lovely Traces of Hope.
Linda has been my mentor in life, marriage, and worship most of my adult life, though we have only met a dozen times or so. I received her first book as a wedding present in 1979. I have read all of her books since. (I’ll list my favorites at the end of this post.)
It has seemed that just when I needed to take a next step, she was putting out the next book. When I was invited to lead a worship team to Ukraine, she was the speaker at that same conference. No, we didn’t plan it. When Rennie and I were on sabbatical, she invited us to stay in their home for 10 days while they were away.
For whatever reason God chose to place her in my life over and over again, I am eternally grateful. She led me in a journey of contentment, worship, marriage, sex even. She encouraged me to find contentment in my life and see my words, attitudes, work, and my waiting -even my pain – as an act of worship. She led me in worship, not in songs of worship, but in worship of two hearts bowed at the sofa, remembering who God is, recalling what he has done and praising him from the core of our beings. She invited me to see that my marriage was a reflection to my world of God’s love for us. She challenged me to want more for my relationship with Ren.
Linda is one of my heroes! No, this is not hero worship. This is gratitude. I trust her. I know she is a woman who pursues God and points others to him, because I have seen her do it. Not to one or two women, but to thousands, perhaps more. Not for a short time, but for her lifetime. I know. I’ve been watching her for 37 years now. Linda is the real deal. She is a woman of influence!
That is why I am humbled and grateful that she has written this forward for the book. I could make you wait to read it in the book, but I just had to share it. Take a peek. Here’s what a woman you can trust has to say.
What does a mom do when her beautiful, vibrant fifteen year old daughter is suddenly, harshly, instantly gone? Grieve? Of course. Go on a long journey of seeking God and healing? Yes. Kathy did these things but also did something very unusual.
After Leisha died, she opened her daughter’s journal and found Leisha’s “book.” If she flipped Leisha’s journal over and upside down and opened the cover, Kathy found her daughter had started to write her own story. She even included the title page.
So Kathy began writing to finish Leisha’s story.
The Burrus family: mom, dad and three girls came to have a vacation in our basement in Colorado Springs in 2002. It was a special time to get to know Kathy, Rennie and their three lovely daughters, Caitlin, Brielle and Leisha. A few short years later, Leisha was singing in heaven and Kathy was finishing her story. As I read Lovely Traces of Hope, I smiled, I cried and I wrote these words to Kathy about the book she and Leisha had written.
Thank you for walking through the dark tunnel to His Light
Thank you for writing so honestly and vulnerably for me and others about grief and pain and how to walk….believing that there is HIS Light somewhere ahead
Thank you for “taking your clothes off” and being real
Thank you for revealing the beauty of walking the Christ walk
Why do I think you should read this book? Let me use Leisha’s name to tell you.
Both Leisha and Kathy have much to share about building your legacy. Kathy says, “When we intentionally NOTICE what really is happening, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on what we are learning from it. More importantly we see what God has been doing. We NOTICE His fingerprints, HIS HAND on our everyday, ordinary lives.” That is especially true when we reckon with the painful areas that may leave us paralyzed in some way. Many times just “noticing” allows us to reframe the events and their effects on our future.
As a mom, Kathy gave me hope, showed me how to face problems with teens, how to reach inside myself and be willing to look honestly at “me.” We all face loss. Loss is not the defining moment of our lives, it is how we respond to loss that matters. Kathy helped me see in a new way that healing is a progression.
Not many fifteen year olds think about being an influence—they are too busy thinking about boys, clothes or the Friday night party. Leisha wanted to be MAD (Make a Difference)! At her tender age, she thought about being an influence and leaving a legacy. Teens need to read this book!
Kathy is honest. Listen to her sincere words. I hesitate to write these next pages. Offering them here is a risk. What will you think of me if I tell of the places in our lives we didn’t have it all together? What if I take off the mask enough for you to see me as I really am?
Leisha and Kathy’s book points you to the Lord God Almighty. In pain. In grief. When life is a dark tunnel, Kathy discovered that God is still Light. She says, I had to learn to NOTICE God showing up differently.
This book is an advance. It takes you forward in your thinking, in your faith, in your personal journey toward the legacy you are creating. Books have been written on grief. Kathy achingly walks you through how she processed her grief. Books have been written on how to help your teen and whole family walk through trials, Kathy shows you how her family did it.
Leisha and Kathy’s combined story is for every mom, every teen….really for everyone. I highly recommend Lovely Traces of Hope to you. I promise you it will lead you to hope as it did me!
Calm My Anxious Heart
Satisfy My Thirsty Soul
What’s It Like to Be Married to Me?
Surprised by the Healer
Want to get updates or join the launch team for Lovely Traces of Hope? click here!
Yesterday I shared a post called THAT’s INFLUENCE.
Today I want to share with you a friend of influence. Her name is Pat.
Pat is has been a long time friend, though recent years have brought us together more purposefully. She has been my coach as I launched into business. I was her matron of honor a couple of years ago at her wedding. She has listened to me through so many transitions of life – and I to her.
Our favorite thing to do is grab a table at Touches of the Heart in Glandorf for lunch and stay till they close. Julie, the Touches host, knows when she sees us to put on another pot of coffee. We will be there a while. Pat and I are never at a loss of words to fill an afternoon.
I have spent that last few weeks struggling with finding energy to do life- but more significantly returning to the grief tunnel as I processed some of the chapters for the manuscript I am writing. The more I tried to get deeper into my story, the less strength I had to do it. I had spent 10 weeks grappling with the emotions and wondering if I could actually write them down.
I felt so alone. No one can do that except me!
Then Pat called- she connects with me in one way or another nearly every week. This time she called. We talked about my health, rejoiced over our families, shared what we are learning about ourselves, about God. Like I said, we rarely run out of words.
Then she asked about the book. I told her I haven’t written much for 10 weeks. We talked about how my health and lack of energy seemed directly connected to the book. She said, “Kathy, do I just need to come and sit with you while you write?”
Ah! There it is! So many days I had wished for someone to be with me in this journey. I had not said anything because I know that I am the only one who can write my story.
But Pat saw me!
She invited herself into my pain.
She asks the questions others are afraid to ask.
She listens to my ramblings as I come to find my own answers.
No, I don’t need her to come write with me. But I did need to know someone saw what I needed and was willing to be an answer to my need.
Pat, I am filled with gratitude for the influence you have had on my life. And just so you know, I’ve completed 5 chapters and rethinking 3 more. Thanks for spurring me to finish what my heart must do!
Love you friend!
This past week, my daughter lost a mentor. Denny Griffith had been the president of CCAD, Columbus College of Art & Design while she was a student there. She describes him often as such an instrumental person, a spectacular man, an artist, and a person of influence.
I always marveled at the closeness she felt toward him. And then I read one of her Facebook posts this week. She wrote: Continue reading That’s Influence!
I would never be celebrating FIVE years in business with out the help of some significant people in my life. This has been a bigger adventure than I ever dreamed. I didn’t know what an entrepreneur was, let alone how to spell it. I for sure didn’t know what it would take to make this work.
I’ve never been a ‘lone ranger’. I need people to brainstorm with, challenge my thinking, encourage my emotional outbursts, and keep me going when I feel like stopping.
FIVE people I am grateful for: