Yesterday I shared a post called THAT’s INFLUENCE.
Today I want to share with you a friend of influence. Her name is Pat.
Pat is has been a long time friend, though recent years have brought us together more purposefully. She has been my coach as I launched into business. I was her matron of honor a couple of years ago at her wedding. She has listened to me through so many transitions of life – and I to her.
Our favorite thing to do is grab a table at Touches of the Heart in Glandorf for lunch and stay till they close. Julie, the Touches host, knows when she sees us to put on another pot of coffee. We will be there a while. Pat and I are never at a loss of words to fill an afternoon.
I have spent that last few weeks struggling with finding energy to do life- but more significantly returning to the grief tunnel as I processed some of the chapters for the manuscript I am writing. The more I tried to get deeper into my story, the less strength I had to do it. I had spent 10 weeks grappling with the emotions and wondering if I could actually write them down.
I felt so alone. No one can do that except me!
Then Pat called- she connects with me in one way or another nearly every week. This time she called. We talked about my health, rejoiced over our families, shared what we are learning about ourselves, about God. Like I said, we rarely run out of words.
Then she asked about the book. I told her I haven’t written much for 10 weeks. We talked about how my health and lack of energy seemed directly connected to the book. She said, “Kathy, do I just need to come and sit with you while you write?”
Ah! There it is! So many days I had wished for someone to be with me in this journey. I had not said anything because I know that I am the only one who can write my story.
But Pat saw me!
She invited herself into my pain.
She asks the questions others are afraid to ask.
She listens to my ramblings as I come to find my own answers.
No, I don’t need her to come write with me. But I did need to know someone saw what I needed and was willing to be an answer to my need.
Pat, I am filled with gratitude for the influence you have had on my life. And just so you know, I’ve completed 5 chapters and rethinking 3 more. Thanks for spurring me to finish what my heart must do!
Love you friend!
Today I’m sitting in a booth at Panera people watching mostly. I had visions of writing- a blog, a chapter, even an email, but I’m just not into it. I’m tired! Discouraged! Weary! Yet I’m not!
Do you ever have those days? When you feel like you can’t do the next thing even though you are excited about it. You even like what you are doing!
A college team of girls and their coaches came in for dinner. I didn’t ask if it was volley ball or basketball, but immediately the space around me was filled with conversation.
As I sat watching I reflected back on my own journey.
When you are young, you don’t think about life ending. You are young! You expect to have all of life ahead of you! You live and dream and plan as if there is nothing stopping you.
When you are in your 20’s, you get a job or marriage that keeps you focused. The job wasn’t what you thought it would be- but hey, it’s a job. You marriage isn’t the fairy tale you dreamed it would be, but hey you are in love. You still have the energy and the stamina to tackle anything in your way, so you keep on with determination.
You hit your 30’s and 40’s and suddenly thing gets harder. You get the promotion you thought you wanted and the family you always dreamed of. Now you have trouble remembering what your dream is because somewhere, someone else is telling you what to do. Your boss, the needs of your kids, the bills that must be paid. You can’t imagine what it would look like to stop what you are doing- if you drop one ball the whole thing will be crashing in on you. So you keep going!
You turn 50! You either lost your passion for The job you had or you got laid off. Now you are starting over again. The kids are going to or finishing college, you are prompted to remember the dreams you had when you were their age. You long for that ability to face the future with such vibrancy and freedom.
i’m not sure about the next 60’s on up. I’m not there…yet!
But what happens if at any point along the way- life would end unexpectedly. What if you die? at 94, or 68, or 27, 15 or maybe 8? Continue reading Life’s Too Short!
My last post, WHAT? ME? WORRY? focused on our need to acknowledge worry? What are the concerns that are holding us back and why? I identified some of my own issues with my current book project. I also clarified which things I can do something about and which ones I need to let go of.
I have to replaced my worries.
In my case, I reconnected with my vision for the book. Leisha started it. She handed it off to me. I must finish it because she is not here. Her story is the continuation of a legacy she left to me- and to those who will read it.
In my heart, I can’t NOT do it. It is one way her life continues to influence others.
But, as a coach, I really appreciated that Mr Matthews provided some questions to replace worry; questions that point my worry to a new way of thinking, such as:
- Who is the one person that might be influenced by this book?
- What does success look like for this project? In a year? In a month? in 2 weeks?
- What can I control?
- Can I influence it?
- Or do I need to let it go?
Taking those previous steps are all helpful, but have little results without Step 3: Do something intentional. I’m afraid that is where I get hung up all too often. I’m great at pondering about something- but struggle to DO something about it.
So…I’m doing somethin’ about worry!
- I wrote to my LOVELY TRACES prayer team and asked for their support.
- I’m joined this Self-Publishing Summit and I’m learning from others who have been there.
- I’m blogging to you- to not only share what I’m doing, but what I’m learning in the process.
- I’m writing a little every day. I may not be able to spend the day- but I can spend a few minutes developing a thought or researching a concept.
So…how about you? What are you worrying about?
- Acknowledge your worry
- Address and Replace the worry
- Do something intentionally
As the call was ending, Chandler asked Mitch for one parting thought. He said,
“Take what is worrying you and acknowledge that could be the genesis of what you need to be coaching on. Very often the battles we face are the very lessons we teach on to reach the people were put on the planet to help.”
Well, I’ve had a battle! I’m learning some lessons! I’m sharing it with you, someone who may also be a worrier.
Do you need some help in your process? Email me! I’m a COACH!
I would love to help you intentionally design hope for your dreams!
Green Hope Coaching with KATHY BURRUS
If you are a regular follower of www.greenhopecoaching.com, you may have noticed that there was a great deal of time that lapsed between my blog on April 28th- and my post last week.
Considering the fact that I am a blogger, that space of time concerned me. You see, it wasn’t just the blog, but I wasn’t writing original content for much of anything, including the book that I told everyone about in my April 28th post.
I must admit I was overwhelmed by the response to that post on my website and Facebook.
- Nearly 13,000- yes, that many 0’s- were reached with that post thanks to several of you who shared the post to your own Facebook friends.
- 1,200 of those friends visited my website and actually read the blog post.
- Over 350 of them engaged with me some way; leaving a message, a prayer response, a memory, a picture.
- plus there were almost 75 others who signed up to support me and the project with prayer.
I have been overflowing with gratitude. While overwhelmed is not quite the right word, I do have a confession. As the responses started coming in, I found myself writing less and less on the book. Honestly, in the last 8 weeks, I have not written much at all.
I just listened in to an interview with Mitch Matthews of Dream, Think, Do over at the Self-Publishing Summit going on with Chandler Bolt.
Mitch talked about how worry keeps us from focusing. Worry strangles the ability to see ahead or to think through options.
I felt the weight of expectations that others might have on me – on this book- and I just stopped writing. I felt paralyzed almost. The more I tried to get in the right frame of mind, the more stress I felt. And if you know me- stress puts me down faster than anything. I spent much of early spring sleeping. Some of you know what I mean.
But Mitch gave a great outline of how to overcome worry. I was grateful to realize that I had been taking some of those steps without naming them. But I did want to share them.
3 Steps to PUNCHING Worry in the face
Step 1: Acknowledge it
Step 2: Address it by Replacing it
Step 3: Do Something Intentional
I had to ACKNOWLEDGE my worry finally.
- What am I concerned about?
- What if I’m not a good enough writer?
- What if I can’t tell my deeply personal stories of my life in a way that helps anyone?
- How will the book be received by others?
- Can I really pull off the cost- both money, time, etc.
They are real, tangible things to be concerned about. But Mitch reminded us that most issues can be dealt with and overcome with a little training. Or with knowing the right people to make it happen.
Yet, most people get so caught up in the fear, they don’t acknowledge the fear and overcome it.
There is good and bad worry!
Good worry- keeps you out of dark alleys! It flips the light on so you can see what ‘s out there!
Maybe the thing that causes you to worry is something you need to give attention. Sometimes worry is a precursor to identifying something that will help you do great.
For instance, look at my worries above
- I can take classes and workshops to become a better writer.
- I can work with close friends and coaches to help me tell my story in a way that is full of hope for others.
- I can break down tasks of writing or research into smaller chunks of time. If I do a little everyday, it won’t be so overwhelming and yet I can make a great deal of progress in the long run.
Bad worry hold you back like mine was doing for me. There are things that you can do nothing about . That is the worry you must let go of.
So using the worry I have above about how others will receive the book, I have no control over that. I know there is interest from the responses to the April 28 post I shared earlier. But I can’t control how those same people my respond to the book. So I need to let it go.
Have you ever made a decision that you knew was good, but you feared at the same time?
One year ago, I did! I made a choice to enter the Bluffton Center for Entreprenuer’s Ropp Tripplet Business Plan Competition. You can read my story here!
My friend, Beth Boehr, of Beyond Budgeting and B&B Investments had entered her business a couple of years earlier and had encouraged me to work through the process. I knew she had worked so hard, but was so excited about it. So it did!
It was a decision that brought Continue reading Ready to launch your dream?