Tag Archives: writing

A Close Up Look at THE Exquisite!

Last week I shared with you the wonderful word EXQUISITE. In that post, I defined the term and the different meanings associated with the word.  (You can go back to read that post here.)

I had every intention of writing a second blog post related to this because I wanted to think through a concept Jonathan Fields introduced at the TRIBEWRITER Conference I attended in September.

In our journey to hone our voice in writing, but also in our life work, we so often give out, put out, produce only to find ourselves going through the motions, but feeling a void; of running out of ideas, direction or energy.  That happens because we are not effectively refueling or putting back into ourselves.

Jonathan challenged us to develop an ‘inner key’ that is more about input rather than output.  He invited us to intentionally sit down with embodied teachers and go deep with them.  In one of those conversations he had with author Andy Forsthoefel that Jonathan found his “unlock KEY”. Andy walked across America and wrote the stories along the way in a book called Walking to Listen.

Jonathan asked Andy why he chose to walk all the way across America instead of just traveling to places to get some of the stories he shares in his book.  Andy responded that the walking allowed him to pay “exquisite attention” to world around him and the people in it.

That’s it! Exquisite attention – that is the unlock key!

At this point, Jonathan was already considered by most to be highly successful in his own right. The Good Life Project is a result of Jonathan’s life work.  He has books, a podcast, even summer camp for grown ups.  So much of what Jonathan was doing was working.  But when he heard Andy talk about EXQUISITE ATTENTION, he knew this was a missing piece.

Practicing being present,

curious

open

Letting go of what you expect to happen

embracing what is

Listening

Sensing

Mindful

Aware

With great awe in his voice, he described the benefits of being able to do that,  “everything becomes more vivid- more colorful.  Interactions become more authentic.”

Steve Jobs spoke of that practice as “something that makes the impossible possible.”

Here at Green Hope Coaching, I’ve talked a lot about the power of paying attention.  I’ve written blogs about it.  I’ve hosted groups like Tracing Hope and S.N.A.P. it to help bring in to focus those things that happen in our lives that stir us to the core. Create space to listen to what moments or people are speaking into us. Click To Tweet

I know the tremendous value in the  discipline of noticing. But paying EXQUISITE ATTENTION.   That moves the bar up —exponentially.

I wish I could give you all the examples Jonathan gave of ways that EXQUISITE ATTENTION changes lives.  But one example that peaked my interest was a research report related to marriage & divorce.

The results indicated that couples that divorced only notice 3 out of 10 of the attempts to connect made by the other spouse.  While couples that stay together notice 9 out of 10.

How much are you noticing in your marriage?  Just by paying EXQUISITE ATTENTION to your spouse, you are building a better marriage.

What else does EXQUISITE ATTENTION affect?

What kind of energy and attentiveness are you using to pay  EXQUISITE ATTENTION in…

Your life?
Your job?
Your relationships with family or friends?
or with God even?

What does EXQUISITE ATTENTION look like for you?

Ok- I’m going to stop there for now.  Three questions are my limit. (ok, I see I snuck in a few more.)  Pick one question and share your thoughts in the comments below.

How can we challenge each other to be EXQUISITE?
(AH! another question!)

I really want to hear what you think about this.


Finish this year in EXQUISITE fashion!

Register now for POWER HOUR to hone in on your ONE THING that you want to see done yet in 2017.

Click here
for more information.

 

Exquisite!

At the recent Tribewriter ConferenceGood Life Project author & speaker Jonathan Fields challenged us with the key concept in being successful in life is to pay “exquisite attention” to the important things.

More on that later.

His comments prompted me to  ponder this word exquisite.  I asked the GHC community what their first thought was when they heard the word ‘exquisite’. Continue reading Exquisite!

Let Me Tell You About Tribewriters!

When I finally got serious about writing “Lovely Traces of Hope”, I realized pretty quickly I was in way over my head.  I needed help to give structure to my material.  Tribewriters was the answer for me.

Are you a writer?  Do you sense there might be something you need to say? Then Tribewriters is for you!

Check out Tribewriter’s Conference 2017?

We just wrapped up another Tribe Conference and had a blast! Tickets for next year are now on sale at tribeconference.com. It won't be the same without you.

Posted by Jeff Goins, Writer on Monday, October 2, 2017

You might also want to check out Jeff’s blog post about the conference…

The Counterintuitive Way to Create Something that Changes Lives: 4 Lessons from Tribe Conference

This post includes links to the summary post’s of quite a few of the Tribewriter’s who attended #tribeconf 2017. It also includes mine- but you can find the link here.

Wanna come with me next year? Get your ticket to the next TribeWriter Conference now!  If they are out, because they are selling out quickly,  they will be making more available soon.

Join me!

I Am A Tribewriter!

Occasionally I will recommend to you a resource that I believe in.  Usually it is a book or an author that has really spoken into my life and work.

I invite you to check out this one.  If you have ever had interest in blogging or writing a book, this is something you want to look into.  If you want to skip the story and go to the bottom for the post for the details, click here.

Otherwise, read on!  And yes, I am an affiliate of Jeff Goins.  I believe in him and in the Tribewriter course and community.  I’m delighted to share him with you- as well as the Tribewriter Course.

Just over a year ago, as Jeff Goins was launching another class of Tribewriters, I found myself desperately wanting IN!

I had been watching from afar for a couple of years, all the while trying to write a manuscript for a book that I didn’t want to write.  It was started by my 15 year old daughter, Leisha.  We found it in her journal the day after she died in a car/pedestrian accident. She only wrote one chapter, but in that chapter she mostly told my story and ended it with “and then I was born.” I knew this was a book that needed to be finished by me.  But I couldn’t imagine how I would ever be able to do it.

Then came Jeff Goins. I signed up for the the TRIBEWRITER Course- and got a ticket to the 2015 Tribewriter Conference.  That has made all the difference.

Continue reading I Am A Tribewriter!

Friend of Influence

20150321_162126Yesterday I shared a post called THAT’s INFLUENCE.

Today I want to share with you a friend of influence.  Her name is Pat.

Pat is has been a long time friend, though recent years have brought us together more purposefully.  She has been my coach as I launched into business.   I was her matron of honor a couple of years ago at her wedding.  She has listened to me through so many transitions of life – and I to her.

Our favorite thing to do is grab a table at Touches of the Heart in Glandorf for lunch and stay till they close.  Julie, the Touches host, knows when she sees us to put on another pot of coffee.  We will be there a while.   Pat and I are never at a loss of words to fill an afternoon.

I have spent that last few weeks struggling with finding energy to do life- but more significantly returning to the grief tunnel as I processed some of the chapters for the manuscript I am writing.  The more I tried to get deeper into my story, the less strength I had to do it. I had spent 10 weeks grappling with the emotions and wondering if I could actually write them down.

I felt so alone. No one can do that except me!

Then Pat called- she connects with me in one way or another nearly every week.  This time she called.  We talked about my health, rejoiced over our families, shared what we are learning about ourselves, about God.  Like I said, we rarely run out of words.

Then she asked about the book.  I told her I haven’t written much for 10 weeks.  We talked about how my health and lack of energy seemed directly connected to the book. She said, “Kathy, do I just need to come and sit with you while you write?”

Ah!  There it is!  So many days I had wished for someone to be with me in this journey.  I had not said anything because I know that I am the only one who can write my story.

But Pat saw me!

She invited herself into my pain.

She asks the questions others are afraid to ask.

She listens to my ramblings as I come to find my own answers.

No, I don’t need her to come write with me.  But I did need to know someone saw what I needed and was willing to be an answer to my need.

That’s influence.

Pat, I am filled with gratitude for the influence you have had on my life. And just so you know, I’ve completed 5 chapters and rethinking 3 more. Thanks for spurring me to finish what my heart must do!

Love you friend!

FIVE Goals for 2016

5 years
Five years ago, I sat down with pencil and paper and began to map out a strategy for beginning a new business and opening a coaching practice.

Five years ago, I thought I knew what wanted for my business.  I thought I knew what I would be good at and what I needed to do to make that happen.  I had a lot to learn!

But this year, I have more clarity about what is important to me, and what steps I need to take to get there. This is not my entire goal list, but here is a glimpse into some of the goals I have set for the new year.

FIVE goals I have for 2016:

Continue reading FIVE Goals for 2016

Lessons from #tribeconf

Before this weekend, I would have told you:

  • I never wanted to be a writer
  • I started writing about 6 months ago.
  • I am still struggling to find my voice.
  • I accepted the title of writer about 8 weeks ago.

But after the weekend at the first ever TRIBEWRITER’s Conference, (hence #tribeconf) I came to own I have been on this journey of writing most of my life.

Jeff Goins being Superman!
Jeff Goins being Superman!

Jeff Goins, founder and host of the TribeWriter Conference, (Superman in another life) spoke directly to me (though he doesn’t know it) on the very first session.

 

He challenged us to:

  • Let go: of expectations, of fear, of shame (feeling that we Should Have Always Mastered Everything).  Here we go again.  First thing he says and I’m already having to open my hands to what God might be wanting to do here.
  • Embrace the mess:  How did he know I woke up in the middle of the night in a sweat, wondering if I was going to show up and be shown up for the mess that I was?  He asked us to partner with the community regarding the issues we have.  I did! I found great encouragement and accountability in the process.
  • Become a more true version of yourself:
  1. Be you! Not someone else, even if you admire them.
  2. Believe in yourself.  Action follows belief.
  3. Try something new this weekend.  That was easy! Everything had some newness to it.

While the weekend was full of excellent speakers with very practical resources and action steps for us, I probably could have left after the first speaker and felt like I got what I needed.

I have struggled ever since Leisha died feeling like I need to write to finish her book, but have been in a battle to rediscover who I am really not just as a writer, but as a woman. All I thought about myself had been put into question when my daughter died.  I blogged a bit about this during the weekend. You can catch it here.

But Ally Vesterfelt, of Author Launch really spoke to this as she shared her father’s story as he was near death.  As a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, he had worked with all kinds of people.  But his first article as he fought to live was “Dying is easy, Life is hard to do!”  Yes it is!  I can attest to that!  I never considered that Leisha had the easy road in dying.  The rest of us had to fight to live.

Ally was just getting started with her challenge to me.  Her next thoughts made me know I was going the right direction.

  • We find our voices when we are most likely losing them.
  • One of the most painful things is to lose the sound of your own voice.
  • FIGHT for the truth, the rawness, and the realness of your own voice.
  • Finding your voice starts with finding yourself.20150830_092547 (2)

Wow!  For her to speak directly to the  battle I mentioned earlier means she is familiar with the pain of it.  I have been there for the last 9 years.  Finding my voice by finding myself.  I can identify that it must be truth, it will be raw, and it must feel real or it feels disingenuous to the process of healing.

“More than likely you will find your voice on a path you least wanted to go down. Sometimes the sufferings, not the healings, are the source of greatest transformation of our life.”

She was right! I knew she was!

I was being changed through the sufferings.  I didn’t want to suffer.  I tried to avoid the suffering, but I knew  it when I embraced the ache and walked into the darkness that the greatest transformation occurred.

As I work to finish Leisha’s book, I reconnect with many layers of grief in order to share what I have learned from the last 9 years. That has been part of the mess I have felt recently. But I wouldn’t change the process.  I am much more aware of who I am and what I was meant to say!

I understand that I must find my own voice before I can truly help someone else find theirs. While I hope that the book will be used to change one person’s life in an effort to change the world,  I know that writing this book has and is changing me.

The story I’m getting ready to present to the world in a few months has been in process for most of my life.

I’m a writer! I have been a writer!  I need to write if just to change me!

How’s your story coming?

Jeff & KathyP.S. Thanks Jeff Goins! For letting go, embracing the mess and becoming a more true version of yourself. You have modeled for me and given me courage to do that same.

Thank you Ally Vesterfelt! For sharing out of the raw, real, truth of your own story. I am one who is changed because of it.

Just because I didn’t write life lessons from all the other speakers doesn’t mean I couldn’t have.  I am still just processing the first one.  Thanks to all of you for your time, availability and genuine support.

I’m already signed up for TribeWriter 2016.  Join me?

TW- 20151029- with Christine TW- 20151029-with Jo Higgins Michael TW 20151029-with Jo