Tag Archives: living

Where Do You Live?

 

Recently a woman I worked with spoke these words, 
I never made it home.

Instantly I saw a split in the meaning of the words.

On the one hand she was saying she had never made the place she lived feel like home. Instead she had resented this house since life had fallen apart and she had been forced to settle there.

But the words resonated loudly for me with another, more poignant meaning.

I never made it home.

I’ve pondered that phrase often since the day we spoke.

How many times have women that I have met with uttered phrases very similar to that?

I never made it home. Continue reading Where Do You Live?

A Broken Thanksgiving

It is Thanksgiving Eve, though I have seldom heard it described in such a way, not like Christmas Eve or New Years Eve. But tonight it seems appropriate. It is the day before ‘the day’ set aside for thanks and gratitude.

Yet I sit huddled on my sofa, tears just boiling under the surface waiting to spill over. Emotions are all over the place and I wonder if I will ever again feel free to experience joy without a deep sense of sadness.

If all the conditions were right, Continue reading A Broken Thanksgiving

Life’s Too Short!

Today I’m sitting in a booth at Panera people watching mostly.  I had visions of writing- a blog, a chapter, even an email, but I’m just not into it.  I’m tired! Discouraged! Weary!  Yet I’m not!

Do you ever have those days?  When you feel like you can’t do the next thing even though you are excited about it.  You even like what you are doing!

A college team of girls and their coaches came in for dinner. I didn’t ask if it was volley ball or basketball, but immediately the space around me was filled with conversation.

As I sat watching I reflected back on my own journey.

When you are young, you don’t think about life ending.  You are  young!  You expect to have all of life ahead of you! You live and dream and plan as if there is nothing stopping you.

When  you are in your 20’s, you get a job or marriage that keeps you focused.  The job wasn’t what you thought it would be- but hey, it’s a job.  You marriage isn’t the fairy tale you dreamed it would be, but hey you are in love. You still have the energy and the stamina to tackle anything in your way, so you keep on with determination.

You hit your 30’s and 40’s and suddenly thing gets harder.  You get the promotion you thought you wanted and the family you always dreamed of.  Now you have trouble remembering what your dream is because somewhere, someone else is telling you what to do.  Your boss, the needs of your kids, the bills that must be paid. You can’t imagine what it would look like to stop what you are doing- if you drop one ball the whole thing will be crashing in on you. So you keep going!

You turn 50! You either lost your passion for The job you had or you got laid off.  Now you are starting over again. The kids are going to or finishing college, you are prompted to remember the dreams you had when you were their age.  You long for that ability to face the future with such vibrancy and freedom.

i’m not sure about the next 60’s on up.  I’m not there…yet!

But what happens if at any point along the way- life would end unexpectedly.  What if you die? at 94, or 68, or 27, 15 or maybe 8? Continue reading Life’s Too Short!

Her Story Bloomed into Mine!

Have you ever read Any Andrews “Butterfly Effect”? The story of how one person’s decision made years earlier continues to have a ripple effect into the lives of others. Well! I experienced that this past week. Here’s my blog about how one woman choosing to let the ‘tree of life grow out of the root of her grief’ bloomed over into my story! Who is influencing you?  Who are you influencing?

The first post written here is from Feb of 2011.
The second one is from today, Oct 27, 2014.  Isn’t God amazing!

It happened again today.  A sudden welling up of emotion surprising me. I don’t know why since I have always been a complex emotional maze.  But this time was different.  That tear-filled mountain that picked the moment I was on the phone with the doctor’s office to erupt.

Sucking down hard, I urge myself:

 “Pull it together—where is THIS coming from?!”

The words didn’t just embolden and stand out on the page; they reached for me with their long arms, hands grabbing at my collar and pulling me in close  while shouting,

“SEE!  YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY KATHY!  LISTEN TO THIS GIRL!” Continue reading Her Story Bloomed into Mine!

Fresh Hope!

Did you know HOPE can become stale?  I didn’t!  In fact it never crossed my mind to think about it.  I understood that sometimes we lose hope- or it wanes in comparison to what it once was even.  But stale?

This weekend, at a prayer service I attended, a pastor in attendance prayed over me.  Part of his powerful prayer for my life-mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually- spoke into my need for “fresh hope”.  I sense your hope has become stale.

I was STRUCK!  Yes!  I knew immediately what God was saying through him! Continue reading Fresh Hope!

The moments that will change us!

I hesitate to write this blog post today- let alone publish it.  I have so many intimate emotions still tied to it.  As I’ve pondered the passing of Robin Williams last week, I realize that to not share is to not tell my whole story.  I want to be authentic in my story.  I believe as I share, perhaps someone else will be helped.

This week is the 8th anniversary of our daughter’s death.  Leisha died August 16th, 2006.  I’ve known it was coming.  I’ve shed many tears over the last few weeks feeling different aspects of her absence  and celebrating her life as well.  Each year has been different when her birthday or anniversary rolls around.

But yesterday, for some reason the intensity of that loss squeezed in on me so tightly I thought I couldn’t breathe another breath. Continue reading The moments that will change us!

Discovering my own shade of GREEN!

I try not to publish posts that contain all my random thoughts- but I’m processing what they have taught me.  Thought they might stir something in you too!

Recently I’ve been doing some observing about my style, energy, walk, closet, makeup, etc. with a program called Dressing Your Truth by Carol Tuttle. I haven’t done the full video program but their free class is very informative.  I was intrigued by their interesting  tagline: How to be Beautiful Everyday!

Do you feel beautiful everyday?  

I would love to tell you I do.  That everyday I wake up confident and  smiling and eager to get dressed for the day. But some days…well, they don’t seem worth the makeup! Continue reading Discovering my own shade of GREEN!

Hey! Pay Attention!

Have you noticed lately how challenging these days are?

You know the ones. You are so very ready for Spring to get here.
You get a glimpse of it, a hint of warmth and then…

and then it snows again!
March 29, 2014 another snow day

And then it snows again!

Cold returns – not just a little
With it comes the wind
And rain – not a beautiful spring rain but the cold, ice rain yet of winter.   It is snowing hard enough that it blinds you from seeing what’s ahead.  Gray days stifle & drain the hope from your day.

These are the days we must pay attention.

See, these are days we don’t realize how unsettled we feel. We just know we don’t like it any more. We don’t notice our deep sighs and continual complaining. We don’t understand how we are compounding the ache that those around us might be feeling.

These are the days when it feels like it’s always winter,  never Easter.

Pay attention friends!

This is the time for you and for me to be intentional:
to remember God is doing a different kind of miracle.
to appreciate the work Christ did out of love -out of obedience.
To embrace the moments of grieving, of burying the dead places of our heart.
to anticipate the resurrection.

Easter is coming!
The resurrection in nature will reveal itself to us in time.

But we have the privilege of preparing for it.
And as we do, actually living out the power of the resurrection of Christ now. The resurrection of our very lives.

What can you do to embrace this moment?
What do you do to keep hope alive in you during days like this?

Share your comments below.

You never know when something you say would be an encouragement to someone who is really struggling.