All posts by Kathy

Kathy Burrus is a marriage coach who offers an authentic, caring environment to help you and your spouse find your next step toward hope- green, life-giving hope!.

Home…In a Moment!

March 31, 2018 at almost 2:00 in the morning, Ren’s mom called to tell us that Ren’s dad had passed from this life to the next.

Instantly the chorus of a song I learned long ago flooded my mind,…

Just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven; 
Of holding a hand and finding it God’s; 
Of breathing new air and finding it celestial; 
Of waking up in glory . . . and finding it home!

Home.

How can it be home when for 84 years Daddy Ray was here as a son and brother.

For 65 plus years he loved his precious wife, Barbara.
For 62 years he was father to two strong men, Rennie and Devin.
For 39 years a father in law to Becki and me.
For 35 years a grandfather to Dillon,  Trapper,  Caitlin,  Brielle and Leisha.
For 11 and a half years a great grandfather to Kendi, Bridger,  Parker,  Quaid and Ellie Jo.

And for a host of years, he was the county agent, 4-H advisor, Riding Club leader,  friend to many a young person.

Friend to a myriad of people.

The day I called my dad to tell him Ray was being moved to hospice, dad was silent for a long time, then said. “Kathy, Ray was my friend long before Rennie was yours.” Dad went on to share memories stemming back to 1966 when they first met working cattle for a friend.

How…when Daddy Ray spent all these years of making home here with us…

how…in a moment…can heaven be home?

In one sense I know that as our loved ones have gone on to heaven before us, our hearts have been drawn home. Our youngest daughter- sister – grand daughter ran on to heaven 11 and a half years ago. Our family had a very real sense that there was a boisterous reunion when Daddy Ray got there just like there was when we came to visit.

In a conversation with our family’s favorite Math teacher and friend, Mr. Beard spoke of the awareness that we are… Daddy Ray is… a created being.

God formed him in the womb and and he was”fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)

And God gave Ray a design like no other
– though especially during this time with family we’ve noticed similarities galore in the sons and grandkids and even the great grandones.

But in the very center of Ray’s being God planted eternity in him – in all of us.
Ecclesiasties 3 says
“He has set eternity in the human heart”

e·ter·ni·ty
əˈtərnədē/

noun
1. infinite or unending time. “their love was sealed for eternity.

2. a state to which time has no application; timelessness.

3. THEOLOGY: endless life after death. “immortal souls destined for eternity”

Think of it.
That seed of eternity planted deep within us suddenly finds the conditions of heaven perfect for blooming. We immediately feel ‘at home”.

What a miracle to go from bedridden to standing tall and strong, to change from laborious breathing to complete freedom of breath, movement and voice.

I truly celebrate that thought today as it has taken on new meaning for us all.

Just think .of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven; 
Of holding a hand and finding it God’s; 
Of breathing new air and finding it celestial; 
Of waking up in glory . . .

and finding it home!

What Happens When You See God?

HOPE & HEALING IN THE HOLIDAYS

If you are just now joining us, I encourage you to start at the earlier posts (links are included in the box below) to build the foundation for the thoughts I share here.

1. Looking at the BIG moments that Change Your Life
2. What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life?
3. Hope & Healing in the Holidays
4. Have you noticed what you need this holiday?
5. Say It Like It Really Is
6. Little Words that Will Make a Big Change

I started this series with a post about looking at the BIG moments that Change your Life.  What is marvelous, as you finish reading Psalm 77,  once again we are reminded of tha RED SEA moment.  (Check out the #1 post listed above if you need a reminder about the Red Sea. Or read the book of Exodus.  Fascinating telling of history. )

After Asaph, the writer of Psalm 77, chooses his response by

  • noticing his need (post 4)
  • expressing his emotions (post 5)
  • and pivoting his perspective  (post 6)
  • He sees God!  O God! (also post 6)

Then he gives an example of an O GOD moment, one that would be familiar to his audience.

When the Red Sea saw you!

The Psalmist once again is reminding the reader of that big God moment when the children of Israel stood between death – and death; between the RED SEA and the Egyptian army. A moment when they couldn’t imagine a way out.  They couldn’t begin to fathom how God could intervene.

And then He does. Continue reading What Happens When You See God?

Little Words That Will Make a Big Change

If you are just now joining us in this series, I encourage you to start reading at the earlier posts (links included below) to build the foundation for the thoughts I share here.

1. Looking at the BIG moments that Change Your Life
2. What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life
3. Hope & Healing in the Holidays
4. Have you noticed what you need this holiday?
5. Say It Like It Really Is

Today we are taking a look from Psalm 77 at the last two letters in our NEPO exercise that invites us open our fists in the middle of our grief and loss and find HOPE AND HEALING IN THE HOLIDAYS (if this doesn’t make sense- go back and read the links above.  None of them are very long.)

We have already opened the pinky finger which stands for
N: NOTICE your NEEDS

Then we extended our ring finger also to remind us to
E: EXPRESS your EMOTIONS (honestly)

That brings us to the third and middle finger and the middle of Psalm 77 where the psalmist moves from ‘woe is me’ in verse 10  (back of hand to forehead, remember) to Continue reading Little Words That Will Make a Big Change

Say It Like It Really Is

In the last post, we were taking a look at Psalm 77 and considering what it had to teach us about our response the losses and hard places in our life.  If you are just joining in this post- you will want to go back to the posts linked below to get caught up.  Then you can join us again and things will make more sense.

This is the third post in a series called
Hope and Healing in the Holidays. 
The first post: 
Hope & Healing in the Holidays
The second post: 
Have you noticed what you need this holiday? 

But actually you might want to start here to get some background on where this series is going:
Looking at the BIG moments that Change Your Life

Let’s continue on in Psalm 77:7-9 to see another way he teaches us to respond.  This is where the Psalmist, well, some people might say he was throwing a tantrum.  But actually he is  showing us how to get ‘unstuck’ by honestly EXPRESS our EMOTIONS.

Ok!  Make a fist again.  Open up the pinky finger from yesterday (NOTICE THE NEEDS) and this time open the ring finger as well to… Continue reading Say It Like It Really Is

Have you noticed what you need this holiday?

The holidays often bring with them this expectation of sparkle.  The tables are beautifully set, the food is perfectly delicious, the relationships with family and friends are glowing.

But just looking around my church  this weekend, I saw face after face that told me that it wasn’t that way for everyone.  Most homes are fortunate to get 1 or 2 out of 3, but the person who has all three- is probably not reading my website.

For many, the holidays only accentuate the awareness that things are not right, relationships are broken, money is tight.  Life is not what you hoped it would be. Instead of the feelings of joy and delight, we feel fear and disappointment. The greater the expectation of sparkle, the deeper the funk we get in when it is not.

Instead of smiles and bright eyes, we often have furrowed brow and hands made into fists.

So how can we expect to find hope and healing in these holidays?

In my last post, (You can read it here) we talked about how our defining moments do not have to be those situations or losses in our life that we have no control over.

But we can do something about Continue reading Have you noticed what you need this holiday?

Hope & Healing in the Holidays

Days before Thanksgiving, I am noticing many people are writing or sharing posts and articles about ways to find hope and healing in the holidays.Honestly, the holidays are still one of the most difficult moments in my grief.

Our daughters, Caitlin and Brielle, come home – though often not at the same time. They are both married so we’ve also added two special son-in-laws. But when we are all together we are more aware than ever that Leisha is not among us.

After some earlier losses in life, I could still “manufacture” some of sparkle and gratitude of the holidays. I could still muster it mostly because I’m a positive person and I don’t have to work too hard to at least ‘appear’ happy.

But after Leisha died, it was not possible to even pretend to make that happen.

I’m sure I’ve shared this before, but for me grief was a feeling of being in a really dark tunnel where the mud was up past the top of my head and I couldn’t move a finger let alone breathe.

The harder I tried to get out the deeper I got Into the mire, into the mud, into the darkness.

Maybe you are reading this because you are Continue reading Hope & Healing in the Holidays

What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life

In the last post, I talked about the big moments we can recall in vivid detail.  We remember who was with us, what happened, how it felt.  Often, we share how that moment changed our life.

I shared one moment that is talked about a lot in scripture- I call it the RED SEA story -when the children of Israel were caught between death – and death.  It was that moment when God showed up like he had never shown up before and they were saved. (You can read more about that in the post from yesterday)

I’m guessing that even as you read that description, you immediately think of one or more occasions in your own story that changed you.

I wish we could sit over a cup of coffee and share those moments together.  I would love to hear about the moment that changed you in the comments section or via email at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.

For now, I’ll share my story RED SEA moment with you. It was the day my 15 year old daughter, Leisha, died.

I didn’t know how I was going to survive the grief tunnel any more than the children of Israel knew how they were going to get out of Egypt, or get through the Red Sea.

God had to show up! And he had to show up differently than he ever had before! Continue reading What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life

Looking at the BIG Moments that Change Your Life

The discussion Rennie & I shared  with a small group of friends turned to moments in our life we remember really well.

We each shared stories of special events- concerts, sporting events, etc. that we recalled in vivid detail.  We remembered who was with us, what happened, how it felt.  Often, someone would share how that moment had changed their life. 

Like the young man who as a boy was with his father at a baseball game when a world breaking home run was made.  He remembered the permission he and the entire grandstand had to celebrate the moment in a loud and crazy fashion.

Or the young woman who just experienced a training event over the weekend that seems to have had a life-changing impact on her future. She spoke with excitement, passion and tears about the moment she knew this was was she needed to do next.

Then our leader asked, ” What is the arena where God shows up in our life?”

Life events – Tragedies – Celebrations

We all had moments to share.  And most of them were the Big Moments.  Moments we could recall in vivid detail.  We remembered who was with us, what happened, how it felt.  Often, someone would share how that moment had changed their life.

I immediately thought of my MOMENT. Actually a series of moments that I consider to be my RED SEA moment. Continue reading Looking at the BIG Moments that Change Your Life

Be Part of a Mastermind for Huge Success

In March of 2016, one of the POWER HOUR gals shared her success story on her blog. Jenn Wenzke shared WHY you should be part of a Mastermind like POWER HOUR too. Listen to her thoughts and see if POWER HOUR might be good for you.
Discover the Value of a Mastermind 
       and Illuminate Your Business & Life!  

by Jenn Wenzke

Reprinted (with permission last spring) from Jenn’s Blog at http://sonowcoaching.blogspot.com/2016/03/

Friday, March 25, 2016

My business coach has been telling me for years that the only way I was going to achieve my goals in a timely way was to work with an accountability partner or to participate in a mastermind group. I have to admit, I have tried both and neither one of them helped me break through any roadblocks or achieve any specific goals.  The groups lasted for a few months and then eventually faded away.
In a moment of weakness this past February, I said yes to another mastermind group.

It wasn’t until I joined this particular mastermind, facilitated by this particular coach – Kathy Burrus – that I was able to finally understand the benefit and necessity of accountability.

What was different this time?
1. We followed a strict format that was adhered to without exception.
2. I was asked to breakdown my BIG goal into what I wanted to achieve in the month of March – no more – no less.
3. I then mapped out the steps involved to reach my goal and chose ONE part to focus on.
4. Finally I had to explain why I wanted to achieve my goal and what it meant to me personally.

What did I discover during this mastermind?
I live my life completely around the joy of connection.  Connecting a person to a person, connecting a person to their dream, connecting a feeling or solution to a problem, connecting daily with God, connecting at an intellectual level, and connecting with nature.  What a huge awareness for me.  So if I am not connecting one way or another in what I am saying or experiencing, I am just not going to do it! Well if that doesn’t simplify what the steps within my goal should look and feel like. – And that discovery arrived during week 3 of the 5 week mastermind.  A BIG game changer!
After week one and two of the five-week mastermind, I waited until the last minute to complete my accountability work for the following week. By week three…..I had it done within a day of our mastermind session and by week four I couldn’t wait for our final session because I was experiencing SO MUCH success.  I plan on signing up for another month so that I can tackle a new focus – break it down into doable steps – and see it all the way through to completion!
Have you been part of a mastermind that has brought you huge success.  If so, I would love to hear more about it.

Many Blessings, Jenn 

P.s. Jenn passed away in June of 2017.  But much of what she chose as goals for 2016 were completed because of her desire to leave a legacy for others.