All posts by Kathy

Kathy Burrus is a marriage coach who offers an authentic, caring environment to help you and your spouse find your next step toward hope- green, life-giving hope!.

Who Are You Supposed to Be

What if you already ARE who you are supposed to be?  

I have pondered the words for several days. Here I am, once again questioning what I need to do to get better- be more.  It seems like I should be well past this.  I mean I’m—well, old enough to know better.

Once again I feel ‘stuck’.

Often when I work with a coaching client to identify what is causing the ‘stuck’ feeling as they try to move forward, I use the metaphor like…

“Life is a Highway!”

We jump in an imaginary helicopter of sorts and get a bird’s eye view of all the lanes of their life: spiritual, professional, family, personal, physical, financial, social, etc.

Often when they take that perspective on their lives, they can tell which lane has a car with a flat tire that is causing slow down in the other lanes, or they see there was an accident that is causing a traffic jam every where else.

Or they might find that one lane, like the professional lane is going a different direction than the family lane.  The difference may be slight, but in the long run, they are not going to end up in the same place.  Just recognizing that helps my clients tweak a few changes while they are little to help them get where they want to go.

Good exercise, very helpful on many levels since we are all familiar with the process of planning a journey.

However, the exercise can be somewhat misleading. It can imply that who we are is out there somewhere.

But what if we already ARE who we are supposed to be?

What if we already have within ourselves what we need
to do what we were made to do?

David Benner recently challenged this thought as I reread his book, The Gift of Being Yourself .  He writes,

Once we realize this {that we already are what we seek and where we long to arrive}, the nature of the journey reveals itself to be more one of awakening than accomplishment, more one of spiritual awareness than spiritual achievement. 

Awakening! 

Yes, I’ve experienced this many times during the decades of my life. Moments when I am suddenly aware that my skills and abilities – even my dreams are exactly what was needed.

But that’s truly what they are- moments.  Just as sure as I know I’m the right person in the right place at the right time, I become unsure, or at least less sure.  However they are not just fleeting moments.

If I’m paying attention,  especially exquisite attention I’ve talked about in recent posts, then the truth of each moment teaches me something about myself.

Maybe I learn I have a strength I didn’t know- or need before that moment.  Or perhaps I see that I can be very creative and resourceful in other moments.

As I continue to journey on life's highway, I am not 'becoming'- I am awakening to who I am. Click To Tweet

Even after all my years of life, today I continue to awaken to who I was created to be.

What about you?

Where do you feel ‘stuck’?

What do you think you need to get ‘unstuck’?

What if you already ARE who you need to be and HAVE within yourself what you need to have to move forward?

If you believe this to be true, how does it change your behavior in this moment? 

Here’s to both of us- Awakening! and living like we believe!

Be inspired to Be You!

Just When I Told You I Wanted to Be Exquisite!

Have you ever felt that way?  You worked so hard on a project or an event, only to have some aspect of your preparations- fail.  Or seem too.

That’s what happened to me.  And just when I told you that I was going to finish the year EXQUISITELY.

You see I Continue reading Just When I Told You I Wanted to Be Exquisite!

Finish Exquisitely

For the past couple of weeks I’ve written about my ponderings on the word EXQUISITE.  You can find those earlier posts here.

Exquisite, by definition

A Close Up Look at EXQUISITE

But today’s post is the visual example of how paying exquisite attention affects our ability to finish what we have started. 
This fall, our daughter, Brielle, ran a marathon.  Continue reading Finish Exquisitely

A Close Up Look at THE Exquisite!

Last week I shared with you the wonderful word EXQUISITE. In that post, I defined the term and the different meanings associated with the word.  (You can go back to read that post here.)

I had every intention of writing a second blog post related to this because I wanted to think through a concept Jonathan Fields introduced at the TRIBEWRITER Conference I attended in September.

In our journey to hone our voice in writing, but also in our life work, we so often give out, put out, produce only to find ourselves going through the motions, but feeling a void; of running out of ideas, direction or energy.  That happens because we are not effectively refueling or putting back into ourselves.

Jonathan challenged us to develop an ‘inner key’ that is more about input rather than output.  Continue reading A Close Up Look at THE Exquisite!

Exquisite!

At the recent Tribewriter ConferenceGood Life Project author & speaker Jonathan Fields challenged us with the key concept in being successful in life is to pay “exquisite attention” to the important things.

More on that later.

His comments prompted me to  ponder this word exquisite.  I asked the GHC community what their first thought was when they heard the word ‘exquisite’. Continue reading Exquisite!

Let Me Tell You About Tribewriters!

When I finally got serious about writing “Lovely Traces of Hope”, I realized pretty quickly I was in way over my head.  I needed help to give structure to my material.  Tribewriters was the answer for me.

Are you a writer?  Do you sense there might be something you need to say? Then Tribewriters is for you!

Check out Tribewriter’s Conference 2017?

We just wrapped up another Tribe Conference and had a blast! Tickets for next year are now on sale at tribeconference.com. It won't be the same without you.

Posted by Jeff Goins, Writer on Monday, October 2, 2017

You might also want to check out Jeff’s blog post about the conference…

The Counterintuitive Way to Create Something that Changes Lives: 4 Lessons from Tribe Conference

This post includes links to the summary post’s of quite a few of the Tribewriter’s who attended #tribeconf 2017. It also includes mine- but you can find the link here.

Wanna come with me next year? Get your ticket to the next TribeWriter Conference now!  If they are out, because they are selling out quickly,  they will be making more available soon.

Join me!

Tribewriters at its Best: Weird, Brave and Creative

I’ve recently returned from TRIBEWRITERS 2017, otherwise known as #tribeconf.

The Tribe Conference is a marketing conference for people who don't think of themselves as marketers. It's a gathering for writers, artists, and creative entrepreneurs to grow their craft, share their work, and get the attention their work deserves.

I would describe TRIBEWRITERS as a community of weird, brave and oh so creative men and women who have ‘stuff’.  It is the kind of ‘stuff’ that is made up of real, often messy, mostly ordinary people and events in our lives that make up our story. 

And yet, in the telling of the ordinary, Continue reading Tribewriters at its Best: Weird, Brave and Creative

The Rewards When You Show Up at the SO NOW Awards

One of the highlights of the SO NOW PROFESSIONAL NETWORK OF WOMEN year is the evening in October when we celebrate the women of SO NOW.

From the generous heart of our founder, Jennifer Wenzke and the women of SO NOW,   Continue reading The Rewards When You Show Up at the SO NOW Awards

Story to Share: Patron’s Last Words

This is Part 4 of 4 in a series of posts I have been writing called "story to share".  It is the last of this series, but not the end of the story. In most ways it is a new beginning for me. But I'm getting ahead of myself.  If you would like to read the other posts in the series, start here.

Though this is my story, the main character of the Story to Share posts is a woman named Jenn Wenzke; coach, mentor, founder of the So Now Professional Network of Women,  and overall, champion of women.

Truly, she championed the woman!

Over and over I have heard women say, Jenn…

saw me
listened to me,
challenged me for more

In his book, Real Artists Don’t Starve, author Jeff Goins calls this kind of person a “patron’.  Often we think of the purpose of a patron is the money they might give to help an artist get started. But this goes way beyond the financial support.

All creative workers need:

  • influencers that will vouch for the artist to an audience who doesn’t know them yet.
  • advocates who see the artist’s potential, believe in their work and give them a chance.
  • The right person/or people to connect the artist to the right people.

We need a patron to not only help us decide what good art is, but also help us succeed. Goins. Click To Tweet

I knew immediately as I read Jeff’s description that Jenn Wenzke was my influencer/ advocate/ chance giver/ connector.

She believed in me, challenged me, and supported me.  She was a cheerleader, an encourager, exhorting me on more than one occasion to quit making excuses and step up to the mic.  She asked me questions others might be afraid to ask and listened deeply as I searched inward for my answers.  She wasn’t afraid to tell me when she thought I was off track.  Jenn was my coach to the core.

She helped me decide what ‘good art’ in my work looks like and then championed me in the doing of it.

Jenn was my patron!

Grateful for our PATRON, Jennifer Wenzke: Kathy with Jenn and Beth Boehr Miller, So Now Business Awards 2016

On June 7, 2017 my friend and mentor, Jenn Wenzke,  died after battling the terrible ALS disease that threatened her body the entire time I knew her.

Our last conversation was at her home several weeks before her death.  She was so fragile, but still had much to say.   We spoke of  her health, her family, and of course the So Now Network..  She knew the legacy of that group was in good hands and felt confident it would continue strong. Her one big regret was that her SO NOW COACHING practice would not.

I asked her how I could help.  She said, “You need to be coaching leaders. “  I don’t know why I hadn’t specifically identified that before, but it suddenly seemed exactly right.

We continued talking for a while, this time about my business and thoughts I had for my future.  I spoke of wanting to create interviews with other women in leadership who could bring value to the women in the GHC community.

Before I got the words out of my mouth, she was  shaking her  head—actually her whole little body in her great big chair.

“NO!” She insisted.  “Your voice. Your message. NOW!”

My breath caught .

I knew this was not just any moment.  This was THE moment.  The moment that summed up all Jenn had been speaking into me since the first Tuesday SO NOW meeting when we met two and a half years earlier.

Be YOU! Do what you do best! Do it Now! Click To Tweet

Her situation with ALS made it apparent that life was short.  Don’t waste a moment!

Her role as my patron had changed. She boldly launched me out to BE ME in the world!

It is time…

To know my value!

To own my voice!

To embrace my story and the message in it!

To get up on my platforms of influence (all different kinds of stages)!

To make my difference!

NOW!

Over and over, I’ve pondered Jenn’s last words.  This is not just a message for me. This is what she has been telling women in many seasons of life. It is Jenn’s challenge to each one of us even now!

This is for all of us who want our lives to count.  

Be YOU! Be In-spired! Make Your Dif'rence NOW! Click To Tweet

I want to be like Jenn- not be Jenn, but like her.  I want to be authentic, a patron of women who grows a movement that empowers women to be their authentic selves and champions others to do the same.

This is a lasting legacy that I want to be part of in every way possible.

Join me!  Be INSPIRED! Be YOU!

Kathy


As a grateful tribute to Jenn Wenzke and all she has done to encourage women in her lifetime, this fall GHC is offering an  8 week ONLINE group called

BE INSPIRED to Make Your Authentic Difference
Use your voice, your message, and your influence NOW!

Registration is open, but space is limited.  Sign up today!

What kind of a patron do you need;  influencer/ advocate/ chance giver/ connector?  May I come alongside you in your journey?

In what ways can you be a champion in the lives of others?

Join me as together we get intentional about

  • hearing and using our own voice
  • embracing our story and sharing our own message
  • stepping up to our opportunities to influence
  • now!  Before life gets away from us!

Go to the BE INSPIRED page!  Sign up today!

Let’s make our difference NOW!

More Story to Share 3

Story to Share 2:The Story Began…

In last week’s blog post (posted above), I started to tell you the story about a woman, a champion, in my life by the name of Jenn.  We talked about our value in that post- yours and mine. The three questions Jenn asked me on our very first meeting were…

Do you know your value?

Do you offer value to those in your world?

Are you getting paid what you are worth?

(If you want to know what we said about that, check the link above to that blog post.)  

But I also said that when I hemmed and hawed with my answers to those questions, the next thing she said to me was,  

When you are done making excuses, you can get down to your business.” 

Yep! That was the bottom line!  I was making excuses about why I wasn’t being successful or seeing the kind of difference I wanted to see. 

Are you doing that- making excuses instead of doing the things you really want to do?  


Isn’t that true of most of us though?  We don’t know our value because we don’t realize who we are.   I thought I did.  I had spent a great deal of time and money going to workshops, reading and researching personalities and strengths seeking to understand, and to help others understand who they were made to be.


We don’t know our value because we don’t realize who we are. Click To Tweet

Yet here I was…
Continue reading More Story to Share 3