Category Archives: Questions?

I Don’t Feel Safe

As I have listened in on conversations or processed life with clients or friends, a theme I hear often is “if God is good, why is life so hard?”

And when the challenges and losses of life threaten us, it is hard to feel safe.

And when we don’t feel safe it is hard to trust that God is present, let alone in control, let alone good.

Oh we might night say it, but our behaviors often reveal that we are not sure we believe God is who he says he is.

I’m not immune to the struggle.  A few days ago Continue reading I Don’t Feel Safe

Twenty-Eight Days to Done!

As a coach, I know the value of coaching. So I consider it essential that I utilize coaches for different aspects of my own journey (life, business, finances, etc.)

Sometimes Rennie, my husband becomes my coach. We enjoy (well I enjoy) our times of asking the hard questions to prompt thought. Other times it may be a close friend or a perfect stranger that asks a question, or challenges a thought that moves me to my next best step.

But there is something about having a coach that is not family nor friend, but curious, objective guide to help me find the truth of my problem or challenge.

I’m sure it has to something to do with the fact that they are more detached from and not part of the problem or challenge we are facing.

Maybe it’s because it is harder to be accountable to a family member than to a coach that you are paying to help you ‘get ‘er done’.

The point is, the simple art of coaching can bring about powerful transformation.  That’s what I’m after for my own life!

So I am working with my long-time coaching mentor, Coach Cheryl Thacker and her Successful Coaches Mastermind to get clear on my next steps, largely in my business, but also as a coach.

At our last mastermind session, Coach Cheryl issued a challenge.  I tweaked it a bit to combine two of my goals at the same time.

  1. To develop a coaching technique called Laser coaching.  
  2. To use this laser coaching skill with 28 new clients in 28 days.

That’s a win-win!  I get to practice my skill, my client gets clear on their next best step and creates an action plan to get ‘er done! 

My typical coaching session is face2face and lasts 45 minutes to an hour. That is ideal for some topics that demand the extra attention. Plus I do enjoy the in-person connections.   However, as my client base has grown, my available time alloted for coaching has not.

Though the laser sessions are shorter in length (15- 30 minutes), they are often much more effective and cutting away the clutter of our thoughts and stories and lasering in on the most significant issues at hand.

In an effort to be available for more clients and still offer tremendous value, I will offer a laser phone session that is

  • 15-30 minutes in length
  • over the phone
  • designed to get to the heart of the problem or challenge the client in facing.

Because I can’t really practice my laser coaching without a client,  I am passing a challenge and an offer on to you!  I’m calling it the 28 DAYS Challenge!

What is the ONE THING you want done in February?

Let’s Do it!

For the next 28 DAYS I am offering
28 Laser Coaching Phone Sessions
Each 28 minutes long
for $28.

That’s a super low price considering what I will be charging for them when the challenge is complete.

TO REGISTER or to get more information, click here. 

I’d love to help you get your ONE THING done!  Will you help me with mine?  Together we can do this.

 

 

A Conversation about YOU: Woman!

What started with simple greetings and an order of coffee, became a conversation about YOU.  Not you personally, but you WOMAN, family member, friend, professional.

WOMAN who wants to make a difference in the world but feels enveloped by so many important things; spouse, kids, parents, job and friends.  These are surely the people we want to serve and influence for good. But sometimes there are so many ‘good’ things going on that we forget we ARE making a difference.

WOMAN who wonders if we truly know what we want to be true of our lives.  We find ourselves in a new place; an empty nest, a season of life, a change in job or relationships, and we puzzle over what we have accomplished in the past or whether we are on track to do all we want to have done at the end of our life.

Are we doing what is most important?  Or are we just reacting to the urgent that comes up in any given day. Continue reading A Conversation about YOU: Woman!

How Do You Measure a Year?

I love pondering mornings.  I love to ponder. So I don’t demand anything of myself on these mornings;

  • I turn off the alarm,
  • lay in bed till I feel like getting up and if I don’t feel like it, then I just stay put,
  • put on my ‘comfy’ clothes,
  • make sure I eat a healthy breakfast (I want to be able to think clearly.),
  • choose my favorite ‘wordless’ music station on Pandora, otherwise I spend all my pondering time singing along.
  • grab a blanket tablet of paper and a good writing pen,
  • and I ponder.

It’s mornings like these that allow my body to catch up with my mind and heart and spirit.  They are usually running ahead and if I don’t intentionally give myself some time to reflect, I end up getting all tangled up a few days down the line.

This morning when I flipped on Pandora, before I could click on my ‘wordless’ stations, the song Seasons of Love, began to play.  The lyrics start like this:

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure – measure a year in a life?

I’ve been fascinated with this song for a lot of years, but I thought it was especially poignant since my ‘ponderings’ for the morning had been largely focused on what I want to be true of this new year.

Wow!  There are only 525,600 minutes in a year?   Considering that one day holds 1440 minutes, that means we have already spent nearly 20,000 minutes of this new year!  I’m not usually into numbers, but this morning it caught my attention.

How do we measure a year?  

The song lyrics have some suggestions: Continue reading How Do You Measure a Year?

Influence Like a Dandelion

Ten years ago next weekend, we gathered to remember a spunky little gal named Leisha.

We celebrated her life And mourned our loss of her.

We remembered the things she didTo make us laugh

To make us cry,

To make us crazy!

She touched our lives and she taught us,

She changed us in the living and the dying.

Would she have made such a difference in our lives if she had just lived?  I know I’m her momma, but I think so.

The day she died, I met her on our country road. I was teasing her because she was so eager to get her driver’s permit. I said,” you just want power. ”

I could see the wheels spinning in her head and her eyes were sparkling.

She spoke,  “I don’t need power. I want to influence. I want to say, I’m going come with me.”

“Honey you were made to influence,” I replied as I stroked her nose like I had so many days since she was born.

10 minutes later,  she was gone.

I want to influence. I want to say, I'm going come with me. Click To Tweet

my first bookSeveral have asked why, out of all the pictures I have of Leisha,  I chose a black and white one of her blowing a dandelion for the cover.

Well, dandelions have long been important at the Burrus house.

For one thing, Continue reading Influence Like a Dandelion

Defining STUCK

make a difference
This morning I looked up the definition of STUCK.

It is an adjective, a word that describes.

The Cambridge dictionary defines STUCK as :
unable to move from a particular position or place,
or unable to change a situation:

Examples of this are:
This door seems to be stuck.
I hate being stuck at a desk all day.
Ty got stuck with doing the laundry.
Hmm?
As I look back over the words we used to describe STUCK in the last post,  (you can read it here), I think that definition works.  We do tend to feel like we are unable to move from a particular position or place when we are consumed with fear, worry, anger, and perfectionism.  Or when we are confused and lack purpose or direction.
Many times we feel,  and sometimes, are unable to change a situation when we deal with rejection, or financial fears, or relationship issues.
Even in the wake of the current events in our world we feel  STUCK; uncertain of what to do that will make any difference at all in the chaos.
Add to that the myriad of messages that are part of our stuck place:
  • I’m not good enough.
  • You never finish anything
  • Who do you think you are?
  • I can’t do it as well as _(fill in the name)__so why bother!
  • Who would listen to me anyway?

Whew! We can get pretty deep in STUCK without even trying.

The problem is that when we get stuck and don’t know what to do, we often do nothing.
We are afraid that if we try to talk with our friend who rejected us, it will only make the situation worse, so we do nothing.
The financial situation we are in is so big and we can’t see what else we can do, so we keep doing the same stuff that got us here in the first place, or we do nothing at all.
We know we are not as good at something our competitors does so we throw up our hands and do nothing.
Fear is paralyzing!
Worry is exhausting!
Even boredom is draining!
The outcome of STUCK can be more STUCK!
OR
STUCK can be the motivation we need to spur us on to make a change.
So what kind of STUCK are you?
STUCK STUCK?
or STUCK MOTIVATED for CHANGE?
Leave a comment below- not for us, but for you to be honest with yourself about where you are.  That’s where we have to start.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
P.S.  How do I know so much about STUCK?  Well, let me tell you how… in the next post.  See you then.
P.S.S. Don’t forget to declare:
STUCK STUCK?
or STUCK MOTIVATED FOR CHANGE

Coaching on Stuck

FROM STUCK TO MADI had a delightful Saturday morning with an inspiring group of women at the Grace Church, Perrysburg, OH for their REFRESH & RENEW Conference recently. Wanted to share with you some of what we talked about at that event.

We spent our time together refreshing our viewpoints about ourselves, our story and our view of God.  We renewed our vision about the kind of difference we wanted to make in our lifetime. But we started with some honest talk about the ‘real’ of life.

As a life coach and former pastor’s wife, I’ve talked with a lot of women over the years.  There have been two reoccurring themes that continue to come out in those conversations.

  1. I want to make a difference with my life.
  2. I’m stuck.

Does that sound familiar to your story? You want to make a difference.  You want to influence your world for good through your life in your lifetime.

But you are stuck!  Or you have been!  If you aren’t stuck, or haven’t been, you will be so we might as well talk about it. You know what stuck feels like. Stuck has kept you from making the difference you long to make.   So before we talk about the kind of difference we want to make let’s talk about the obstacles to it. Continue reading Coaching on Stuck

Sacred Space

by Kathy BurrusSacredSpace

There is a sacred space

Between life and death

Hope and doubt

Faith and fear

A space that leaves you feeling as if each foot is in a different world

And the whirling of emotions leaves you either paralyzed in or running

To or from, in or out

It sometimes doesn’t matter

You find yourself wrestling in a moment of crisis Continue reading Sacred Space

Friend of Influence

20150321_162126Yesterday I shared a post called THAT’s INFLUENCE.

Today I want to share with you a friend of influence.  Her name is Pat.

Pat is has been a long time friend, though recent years have brought us together more purposefully.  She has been my coach as I launched into business.   I was her matron of honor a couple of years ago at her wedding.  She has listened to me through so many transitions of life – and I to her.

Our favorite thing to do is grab a table at Touches of the Heart in Glandorf for lunch and stay till they close.  Julie, the Touches host, knows when she sees us to put on another pot of coffee.  We will be there a while.   Pat and I are never at a loss of words to fill an afternoon.

I have spent that last few weeks struggling with finding energy to do life- but more significantly returning to the grief tunnel as I processed some of the chapters for the manuscript I am writing.  The more I tried to get deeper into my story, the less strength I had to do it. I had spent 10 weeks grappling with the emotions and wondering if I could actually write them down.

I felt so alone. No one can do that except me!

Then Pat called- she connects with me in one way or another nearly every week.  This time she called.  We talked about my health, rejoiced over our families, shared what we are learning about ourselves, about God.  Like I said, we rarely run out of words.

Then she asked about the book.  I told her I haven’t written much for 10 weeks.  We talked about how my health and lack of energy seemed directly connected to the book. She said, “Kathy, do I just need to come and sit with you while you write?”

Ah!  There it is!  So many days I had wished for someone to be with me in this journey.  I had not said anything because I know that I am the only one who can write my story.

But Pat saw me!

She invited herself into my pain.

She asks the questions others are afraid to ask.

She listens to my ramblings as I come to find my own answers.

No, I don’t need her to come write with me.  But I did need to know someone saw what I needed and was willing to be an answer to my need.

That’s influence.

Pat, I am filled with gratitude for the influence you have had on my life. And just so you know, I’ve completed 5 chapters and rethinking 3 more. Thanks for spurring me to finish what my heart must do!

Love you friend!

FIVE Things I Know Now

Yesterday we celebrated the 5th anniversary of GHC.  I admitted that I’m not where I wanted to be in business and in life.  But during this journey I have learned a great deal.  Some things are brand new to me, others are things I am learning again for the first time.

FIVE things I know with more certainty:

Continue reading FIVE Things I Know Now