Tag Archives: grief

#lovelytracesofhope, Bible stories, Excuses, God showed up, life stories, Lovely Traces, Open hands, Pay Attention, Psalm 77, Questions?, Red Sea

What Happens When You See God?

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HOPE & HEALING IN THE HOLIDAYS

If you are just now joining us, I encourage you to start at the earlier posts (links are included in the box below) to build the foundation for the thoughts I share here.

1. Looking at the BIG moments that Change Your Life
2. What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life?
3. Hope & Healing in the Holidays
4. Have you noticed what you need this holiday?
5. Say It Like It Really Is
6. Little Words that Will Make a Big Change

I started this series with a post about looking at the BIG moments that Change your Life.  What is marvelous, as you finish reading Psalm 77,  once again we are reminded of tha RED SEA moment.  (Check out the #1 post listed above if you need a reminder about the Red Sea. Or read the book of Exodus.  Fascinating telling of history. )

After Asaph, the writer of Psalm 77, chooses his response by

  • noticing his need (post 4)
  • expressing his emotions (post 5)
  • and pivoting his perspective  (post 6)
  • He sees God!  O God! (also post 6)

Then he gives an example of an O GOD moment, one that would be familiar to his audience.

When the Red Sea saw you!

The Psalmist once again is reminding the reader of that big God moment when the children of Israel stood between death – and death; between the RED SEA and the Egyptian army. A moment when they couldn’t imagine a way out.  They couldn’t begin to fathom how God could intervene.

And then He does. Continue reading What Happens When You See God? →

grief, healing, Holiday, Hope, stuck

Say It Like It Really Is

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In the last post, we were taking a look at Psalm 77 and considering what it had to teach us about our response the losses and hard places in our life.  If you are just joining in this post- you will want to go back to the posts linked below to get caught up.  Then you can join us again and things will make more sense.

This is the third post in a series called
Hope and Healing in the Holidays. 
The first post: 
Hope & Healing in the Holidays
The second post: 
Have you noticed what you need this holiday? 

But actually you might want to start here to get some background on where this series is going:
Looking at the BIG moments that Change Your Life

Let’s continue on in Psalm 77:7-9 to see another way he teaches us to respond.  This is where the Psalmist, well, some people might say he was throwing a tantrum.  But actually he is  showing us how to get ‘unstuck’ by honestly EXPRESS our EMOTIONS.

Ok!  Make a fist again.  Open up the pinky finger from yesterday (NOTICE THE NEEDS) and this time open the ring finger as well to… Continue reading Say It Like It Really Is →

grief, healing, Holiday, Hope, Psalm 77, worry

Have you noticed what you need this holiday?

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The holidays often bring with them this expectation of sparkle.  The tables are beautifully set, the food is perfectly delicious, the relationships with family and friends are glowing.

But just looking around my church  this weekend, I saw face after face that told me that it wasn’t that way for everyone.  Most homes are fortunate to get 1 or 2 out of 3, but the person who has all three- is probably not reading my website.

For many, the holidays only accentuate the awareness that things are not right, relationships are broken, money is tight.  Life is not what you hoped it would be. Instead of the feelings of joy and delight, we feel fear and disappointment. The greater the expectation of sparkle, the deeper the funk we get in when it is not.

Instead of smiles and bright eyes, we often have furrowed brow and hands made into fists.

So how can we expect to find hope and healing in these holidays?

In my last post, (You can read it here) we talked about how our defining moments do not have to be those situations or losses in our life that we have no control over.

But we can do something about Continue reading Have you noticed what you need this holiday? →

grief, healing, Holiday, Hope, respond

Hope & Healing in the Holidays

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Days before Thanksgiving, I am noticing many people are writing or sharing posts and articles about ways to find hope and healing in the holidays.Honestly, the holidays are still one of the most difficult moments in my grief.

Our daughters, Caitlin and Brielle, come home – though often not at the same time. They are both married so we’ve also added two special son-in-laws. But when we are all together we are more aware than ever that Leisha is not among us.

After some earlier losses in life, I could still “manufacture” some of sparkle and gratitude of the holidays. I could still muster it mostly because I’m a positive person and I don’t have to work too hard to at least ‘appear’ happy.

But after Leisha died, it was not possible to even pretend to make that happen.

I’m sure I’ve shared this before, but for me grief was a feeling of being in a really dark tunnel where the mud was up past the top of my head and I couldn’t move a finger let alone breathe.

The harder I tried to get out the deeper I got Into the mire, into the mud, into the darkness.

Maybe you are reading this because you are Continue reading Hope & Healing in the Holidays →

Bible stories, fear, God showed up, grief, healing, Hope, life lessons, Lovely Traces, Moses

What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life

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In the last post, I talked about the big moments we can recall in vivid detail.  We remember who was with us, what happened, how it felt.  Often, we share how that moment changed our life.

I shared one moment that is talked about a lot in scripture- I call it the RED SEA story -when the children of Israel were caught between death – and death.  It was that moment when God showed up like he had never shown up before and they were saved. (You can read more about that in the post from yesterday)

I’m guessing that even as you read that description, you immediately think of one or more occasions in your own story that changed you.

I wish we could sit over a cup of coffee and share those moments together.  I would love to hear about the moment that changed you in the comments section or via email at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.

For now, I’ll share my story RED SEA moment with you. It was the day my 15 year old daughter, Leisha, died.

I didn’t know how I was going to survive the grief tunnel any more than the children of Israel knew how they were going to get out of Egypt, or get through the Red Sea.

God had to show up! And he had to show up differently than he ever had before! Continue reading What Happens When a Moment Changes Your Life →

GHC opportunities, grief, Hope, influence, Living Intentionally, LOSS, make a difference, wrestling

6 Reasons to Be Grateful at a Funeral

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I recently attended the funeral, actually, the celebration of life of a 23 year old daughter of a friend.

The uncanny timing of this particular event was not lost on me.  As I sat at this funeral, I was reminded of another that took place just one week shy of 11 years ago- in the same church- led by the same pastor.  It was a funeral I was very much a part of since the life being celebrated was my 15 year old daughter, Leisha. Continue reading 6 Reasons to Be Grateful at a Funeral →

Broken, grief, LOSS, Uncategorized

A Broken Thanksgiving

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It is Thanksgiving Eve, though I have seldom heard it described in such a way, not like Christmas Eve or New Years Eve. But tonight it seems appropriate. It is the day before ‘the day’ set aside for thanks and gratitude.

Yet I sit huddled on my sofa, tears just boiling under the surface waiting to spill over. Emotions are all over the place and I wonder if I will ever again feel free to experience joy without a deep sense of sadness.

If all the conditions were right, Continue reading A Broken Thanksgiving →

grief, healing, Hope, influence, Jerry Sittser, LIFE, life lessons, LOSS, Lovely Traces, make a difference

Thank you Professor Sittser

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This past week, I have been working intently to finish up details for publishing the Lovely Traces of Hope book.  I had one of those moments  as I sat late into the night reading/ editing/ proofing yet again through my own story.  

For the umpteenth time, I was reading through Chapter 14, Turning East, which I have sent to many of you already. (Click here if you haven’t read it yet.) In that chapter, I share excerpts of Jerry Sittser’s book called A Grace Disguised. Jerry literally led me through much of my grief through the sharing of his own story.

Several months ago as I was reworking that chapter for the book, I sent Jerry a letter to thank him for being bold enough to share his story because of the influence it has had in mine. 

Here was his reply…

Continue reading Thank you Professor Sittser →

dream, Fresh start, grief, Hope, influence, LIFE, life lessons, Lovely Traces, make a difference, Mentor, Offering Hope, Pat Emery Hixon, Pay Attention, Questions?, wrestling

Friend of Influence

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20150321_162126Yesterday I shared a post called THAT’s INFLUENCE.

Today I want to share with you a friend of influence.  Her name is Pat.

Pat is has been a long time friend, though recent years have brought us together more purposefully.  She has been my coach as I launched into business.   I was her matron of honor a couple of years ago at her wedding.  She has listened to me through so many transitions of life – and I to her.

Our favorite thing to do is grab a table at Touches of the Heart in Glandorf for lunch and stay till they close.  Julie, the Touches host, knows when she sees us to put on another pot of coffee.  We will be there a while.   Pat and I are never at a loss of words to fill an afternoon.

I have spent that last few weeks struggling with finding energy to do life- but more significantly returning to the grief tunnel as I processed some of the chapters for the manuscript I am writing.  The more I tried to get deeper into my story, the less strength I had to do it. I had spent 10 weeks grappling with the emotions and wondering if I could actually write them down.

I felt so alone. No one can do that except me!

Then Pat called- she connects with me in one way or another nearly every week.  This time she called.  We talked about my health, rejoiced over our families, shared what we are learning about ourselves, about God.  Like I said, we rarely run out of words.

Then she asked about the book.  I told her I haven’t written much for 10 weeks.  We talked about how my health and lack of energy seemed directly connected to the book. She said, “Kathy, do I just need to come and sit with you while you write?”

Ah!  There it is!  So many days I had wished for someone to be with me in this journey.  I had not said anything because I know that I am the only one who can write my story.

But Pat saw me!

She invited herself into my pain.

She asks the questions others are afraid to ask.

She listens to my ramblings as I come to find my own answers.

No, I don’t need her to come write with me.  But I did need to know someone saw what I needed and was willing to be an answer to my need.

That’s influence.

Pat, I am filled with gratitude for the influence you have had on my life. And just so you know, I’ve completed 5 chapters and rethinking 3 more. Thanks for spurring me to finish what my heart must do!

Love you friend!