What started with simple greetings and an order of coffee, became a conversation about YOU. Not you personally, but you WOMAN, family member, friend, professional.
WOMAN who wants to make a difference in the world but feels enveloped by so many important things; spouse, kids, parents, job and friends. These are surely the people we want to serve and influence for good. But sometimes there are so many ‘good’ things going on that we forget we ARE making a difference.
WOMAN who wonders if we truly know what we want to be true of our lives. We find ourselves in a new place; an empty nest, a season of life, a change in job or relationships, and we puzzle over what we have accomplished in the past or whether we are on track to do all we want to have done at the end of our life.
I love pondering mornings. I love to ponder. So I don’t demand anything of myself on these mornings;
I turn off the alarm,
lay in bed till I feel like getting up and if I don’t feel like it, then I just stay put,
put on my ‘comfy’ clothes,
make sure I eat a healthy breakfast (I want to be able to think clearly.),
choose my favorite ‘wordless’ music station on Pandora, otherwise I spend all my pondering time singing along.
grab a blanket tablet of paper and a good writing pen,
and I ponder.
It’s mornings like these that allow my body to catch up with my mind and heart and spirit. They are usually running ahead and if I don’t intentionally give myself some time to reflect, I end up getting all tangled up a few days down the line.
This morning when I flipped on Pandora, before I could click on my ‘wordless’ stations, the song Seasons of Love, began to play. The lyrics start like this:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure – measure a year in a life?
I’ve been fascinated with this song for a lot of years, but I thought it was especially poignant since my ‘ponderings’ for the morning had been largely focused on what I want to be true of this new year.
Wow! There are only 525,600 minutes in a year? Considering that one day holds 1440 minutes, that means we have already spent nearly 20,000 minutes of this new year! I’m not usually into numbers, but this morning it caught my attention.
I would never be celebrating FIVE years in business with out the help of some significant people in my life. This has been a bigger adventure than I ever dreamed. I didn’t know what an entrepreneur was, let alone how to spell it. I for sure didn’t know what it would take to make this work.
I’ve never been a ‘lone ranger’. I need people to brainstorm with, challenge my thinking, encourage my emotional outbursts, and keep me going when I feel like stopping.
How many times in your marriage relationship have you asked a question that begins with “What if?”
She asks “What if I go to all this effort & he doesn’t notice?”
He asks, “What if I try & she rejects me and says it’s not good enough?”
So many things we decide not to do because of ‘What if?”
But what if we both get serious about this relationship and be willing to do the next hard thing. We want so much for love to be easy, but it’s not. It is hard to humble ourselves and give
Out of love
true love
God given love
That we committed to at some point in our life.
Too often somewhere along the line, one or both of us started living complacent. We became willing to get by
Not addressing the issues
Letting things ride
But under the surface we are starting to feel something
A disappointment
Or an aggravation
Or an anger
That begins to boil
And creates an internal distance
Which eventually becomes a visible distance!
Then it becomes much more difficult to work through than if we faced it right away.
I know- I KNOW- it’s hard!
Ren & I have been married 35 years- WE KNOW!
You still see his handsome features, the ones that attracted you to him when you first met. You see the lines that are forming on his face, just as they are on yours. You know that look when one eye brow seems to clamp tighter around his eye, while the other one remains the same- as if one part of him was uptight and the other part relaxed.
You look at her, years of motherhood and caring for a family and her world have changed her. But peering from behind all that are the eyes of the beautiful, young girl that won your heart so long ago. She still reaches up and plays with that small tuft of hair right by her ear as she is deep in thought or developing some creative vision.
You love him! You love her! Really love from a place so deep you never knew it existed.
I am reposting this excellent blog about the marriage dance from Linda Dillow, friend and mentor in life, marriage and worship. You can read more from Linda at www.authenticintimacy.com
For those of you who joined us on the 30 day challenge last week, how are you doing? We would love to hear your comments, insights, celebrations and struggles in the comment box below.
Accountability is a great way to hold you to your commitment. If not here, who is your accountability partner?
A few days ago, a business woman asked me if I thought I was doing the right thing by focusing so much of my coaching business/ministry these days on someone else’s ministry. She was referring to all the Facebook sharing and blog posts I have written that have to do with Authentic Intimacy. Her concern was that I was building their business and not my own.
At the time, I told her that this was something I have wanted to be part of for a long time and it was worth it for me. But as I’ve thought about it- it is much more than that.
You see, 35 years ago, I was given a book called Creative Counterpart written by Linda Dillow. It was a book I went back to time and again early in my marriage and have reviewed often since.
Through the years I’ve had several opportunities to not only hear her speak – but spend time with Linda. I’ve listened as she lived out in her spoken words what she had written in several books by now, including ‘Calm My Anxious Heart” or Intimate Issues, Intimacy Ignited or more recentlyWhat’s it Like to Be Married to Me, and Passion Pursuit. (See titles below)
Kathy with Linda Dillow 2002 – Ukraine Retreat
In 2002, I was invited to lead a worship team for a women’s ministry retreat in Kiev, Ukraine. I was thrilled when I learned the speaker was none other than Linda Dillow.
Her topic was worship- it was the beginning of her book called “Satisfy My Thirsty Soul”.I was the so-called worship leader- but she was the one who led me in into the Presence of the Blessed Controller.
Just the two of us kneeling at her couch.
Just the two of us sitting on her big rock near her home in the foothills of Colorado.
Then with my team in Ukraine!
Precious, intimate moments with our God!
For me, this opportunity to bring Linda Dillow and Juli Slattery to the Lima area for the NAKED TRUTH conference is an answer to a 20 year long prayer. I told Linda then that someday, I would build a platform for her to speak her voice, God’s message to the people in my world.
It’s not just her books,
or the times she has emailed me
or the times she has cried with me,
prayed with me
worshiped with me
always showing up in my life just when I needed her message.
But that is just the point- for 35 years, she has shown up in my life through her books,
her speaking,
her friendship
with a consistent message.
A message that pointed me time and time again to see the Lord; lifting my chin to see His face.
That’s a message I want to be part of!
It’s an act I want to be known for!
It’s a voice I want to not only have- but build a platform for when I hear others speaking that same message.
This isn’t about my ‘business’ – or even Linda’s ministry.
It’s about what God is saying and doing in the heart of women all over the world.
Those are the voices I love listening for!
How about you?
I challenge you to listen and heed the message that Linda & Juli have to give all of us in October. Click here to find out more!
You have too many hats to wear- you feel like you are always wearing the wrong hat for that important occasion?
You have too many balls juggling in the air at the same time- you look away for a second and one drops, then another. You feel like once again you let someone down. You dropped the ball.
You wonder if you are really making a difference in the lives of the people that really matter to you- even though it feels like you are always sacrificing what you want to do for their needs. It just feels like blowing dandelions into the wind and ‘hoping‘ for the best.
HOW DO I BALANCE ALL THAT I NEED TO DO?
I’ve heard those statements a lot lately- and it’s almost summer time! That means that whatever our schedule was- it will most likely change in the summer. Either the kids are home from school- or we are doing more stuff outside- or …it just feels like we should be taking it ‘easier’ somehow.
What if we took a few minutes to consider WHAT was most important to us?
What if we identified WHO we wanted to influence the most and what kind of memories we wanted to make with them?
What if we went through our closet of hats and donated a few to a worthy cause. As we do we eliminate the busyness and attend to the business of being who we really want to be!
Join me for a GREEN HOPE INTENSIVE: Juggling the hats Tuesday, May 20th from 9:30am to 12:30pm
This will be held at my home- 6442 Putnam Road R, Columbus Grove, OH 45830
What started with simple greetings and an order of coffee, became a conversation about YOU. Not you personally, but you WOMAN, family member, friend, professional.
