Tag Archives: women

Does God want me to be Sensuous?

So what do you think?  Does the Bible teach us to be sensuous women? Some of you are thinking Kathy’s talking about sex again.  Maybe! But maybe not!

I have had some interesting dialog with women who desire to be all that God has created them to be.  But they are not sure what to do with issues of sexuality/ sensuality when they are single and longing to honor the Lord.

 

I have heard one woman after another share that much of the pain in their life has to do with wrestling with issues related to sexual or sensual issues.  There is God’s view to reckon with which has been confusing to women on so many levels.  There is the world’s view which seems to indicate to just ‘be free’ sexually.  However much of the ache these women now feel is because those behaviors don’t feel free like it does in the movies.

So can we be single and sexual?  What does God want from us if he created us to be sexual beings, whether we are married or single, while the Bible teaches that sex is reserved for marriage.

Dr. Juli Slattery of AuthenticIntimacy.com hits the mark as she addresses this topic in her 2 minute Thought called Can I Be Single and Sexual?  Juli reminds us that our sexuality is not compartmentalized waiting for marriage, it is integrated into all the aspects of who you are; intellectual, relational and spiritual. 

We are geared to immediately associate sexuality with sexual pleasure.  But it actually serves a much greater purpose.  Juli goes on to say that sexuality is about intimacy and relationship. The core aspect of our sexuality is the yearning to be known and share intimately with another person, which is expressed fully in marriage.  My sexuality as a woman deeply impacts how I relate to others- outside the bedroom. 

(Be sure you listen in to hear the rest of Juli’s comments. There is a wealth of information for married or single women at authenticintimacy.com.)

As I pondered how we might experience intimacy that was not sexual, especially for the single woman, I dug a little further with a word study on the word SENSUOUS which is defined as “anything that is pleasing to the senses”.  In other words, anything that we touch, taste, see, smell and hear.  There are many ways we can experience intimacy in

  • a furry kitten resting calmly in our hands
  • a delicious meal shared with friends
  • a beautiful sunset filling our sight
  • a pie baking in the oven smelling so good, tasting even better
  • an incredible symphony
Each of our senses are faithful, loving reminders that God is breaking into our world to speak… Click To Tweet

These are examples of sensuous things make our senses happy, but they also nurture us and allow us to know a deep joy and possibly meaningful intimacy with relationships of family and friends.

I understand that many times the effects of past encounters, or abuse related to sexual activity can taint the purity of a sensation. Certain senses can become triggers for memories or behaviors that you are desperately trying to avoid.

So often, rather than risk something “unpleasant” (though it might be much more damaging than that word denotes), we end up closing ourselves off to everything that might stir our senses.

But remember, God is a redeeming God.  He created you to be sexual.  He gave you your senses to live fully alive.  Yes, there is pain!  Yes, there is pain that needs healing, and your senses maybe part of that.

But each of our senses are faithful, loving reminders that God is breaking into our world everyday to speak his words of love to us.

What is it that God is inviting you into as you consider how to live sensuously as a sexual being?  Maybe you have some questions about what that would look like.  I know some women who are making it work.  Let’s have that discussion together.

In the mean time, Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8

Intentionally Making A Difference

I just had a birthday! It is one of the middle ones not ending in a 0 or a 5.  It’s a non-consequential birthday!  Not one we celebrate in a big way. Just another birthday.

But birthday’s always make me stop and think.  Perhaps they do you as well.  Another year has passed.  I find myself asking,

What did I do in the past year that made any difference?

What do I need to be about in this next year to make the difference I was meant to make? Click To Tweet

1

Sometimes we get caught in the trap of being so busy we don’t stop to ‘ponder’!  I love that word ponder because it denotes a slowing down, maybe even stopping to sip a favorite cup of tea.  We take time to notice.  We look around and see the new buds on the trees and the new blooms in the garden.  We breath in the air, still crisp, yet warming.  We feel the sun on our arms that have long been covered by winter coats.

Birthdays, Holidays,  especially the New Year cause us to ask questions about our life. I know I’m not the only one pondering questions.   I talk to many who are.  Friends, Family, clients- so many are asking questions like:

  • How do I know if I’m doing what I’m made to do?  It doesn’t feel like it.
  • Why don’t others see my value?
  • Shouldn’t life mean more than this?
  • How is the meaning of my life best lived out?

Or we find ourselves saying things like:

  • I feel like I’m so busy, but not going anywhere.
  • I just don’t feel inspired to do anything.
  • I thought this is what I wanted, but I’m not satisfied.
  • I feel too old, but like I have more to offer- but no one wants it.
  • I don’t want to just do anything- I want to do something that makes a difference.

Even this week as Rennie was listening to the trailer for the new movie  Batman vs. Superman (No, I’m not endorsing here- just using as an example) I heard a woman say something like,

 “We get so caught up with what we can do, we haven’t asked what we should do.’

How do we know what we SHOULD be doing?  Who says what we SHOULD be doing?  How do we know when we are doing it? Or not doing it?

Sometimes life gets so busy doing things we feel we SHOULD be doing.  But somewhere after doing that for a while, we are suddenly forced to stop and ponder!

Were we so caught up with what we SHOULD be doing, we lost sight of what we were MADE to do? Click To Tweet

That’s a question we will be asking at the new group Green Hope Coaching  is offering in May!

greenhopecoaching.com

 

We will be asking the questions

  • Who?
  • What?
  • When?
  • Where?
  • And How?

The actual questions and answers will depend on you!

  • Your story
  • The messages playing in your head
  • the truth you live by
  • Your skills, abilities and talents
  • Your calling

Cost for the class is $20 per session or $150 if you pay for all 8 sessions by May 1st. (that’s a $10 savings)

will include:

  •  8 weeks of group coaching, which means
    1. you benefit from your own coaching,
    2. as well as learn as you listen to others process as well.  (Tremendous growth occurs in the synergy of authentic community. )
    3. Yes, it is a risk you take.  But it has powerful potential for encouragement, support, and accountability.
    4. You get to experience the benefits of coaching at an affordable price.
  • Materials used in the class, including book, worksheets and possible assessment.

Register by emailing Kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.
Write I’M INTENTIONAL in the subject line.

You have much to offer you world!

You make an extraordinary difference in your world being your ordinary you! Click To Tweet

Even if you don’t see it!

But … there are many things we can do to intentionally make the difference we were meant to make.

Are you ready to take the challenge?

Join us! Email me today!

Why do I do that?

Maybe I’m the only one (though I doubt it) that rubs shoulders with a mom, or leader or life coach that seems to really have it all together. Then I spend the next 48 hours comparing all the things I don’t like about myself to all the stuff that is great about her.

WHY DO I DO THAT?comparing you

 

 

I had that experience last week.  Knocked me right off my feet for a while-actually it messed up my comfort zone.  Suddenly I was discontent with everything about me- my business, my energy level, my opportunities, even my appearance.

Why? Why can I be blessed by another woman and her gifts and abilities and then struggle to find contentment with myself?”

Why does someone else's success threaten mine? Click To Tweet

Maybe it is because…. Continue reading Why do I do that?

Being YOU…bravely!

I stole that title from a MOPS group I spoke at in December.  It’s their theme for the year.  More and more, I’m finding it to be mine.

Ever since I started my business as a life coach, I have been on a journey of finding confidence in my new business.  I’ve done this professionally for 4 years now, and though I’ve gained a great deal of confidence in what I can offer a client, it doesn’t take much to cause me to question myself again.  Especially this past couple of weeks as I have met 4 or 5 life coaches in our area.

Yep!  There I went again!  “O who do I think I am to be able to compete or win the comparison with those amazing coaches!”

But we don’t just begin to doubt then.

We become weak kneed anytime we lose sight of our own beauty and begin to compare our weaknesses… Click To Tweet

Continue reading Being YOU…bravely!

Who is carrying your team?

How many times in your marriage relationship have you asked a question that begins with “What if?”

She asks “What if I go to all this effort & he doesn’t notice?”

He asks, “What if I try & she rejects me and says it’s not good enough?”

So many things we decide not to do because of ‘What if?”

But what if we both get serious about this relationship and be willing to do the next hard thing.  We want so much for love to be easy, but it’s not.  It is hard to humble ourselves and give

Out of love

true love

God given love

That we committed to at some point in our life.

Too often somewhere along the line, one or both of us started living complacent.  We became willing to get by

Not addressing the issues

Letting things ride

But under the surface we are starting to feel something

A disappointment

Or an aggravation

Or an anger

That begins to boil

And creates an internal distance

Which eventually becomes a visible distance!

Then it becomes much more difficult to work through than if we faced it right away.

I know- I KNOW- it’s hard!
Ren & I have been married 35 years- WE KNOW!

But Continue reading Who is carrying your team?

1400! What could this mean?

An amazing thing happened!  Ren and I sat down for 6 minutes to share our heart for marriages & intimacy through this little video.

WE HAVE HAD OVER 1400 Views
since we posted it on 3 days ago.  Amazing!

So I’ve had to ask myself what is all the interest about???  I’ve asked a few people and here is what they said.

1. Our daughter said, “It’s just good to see the two of you doing this together.”  It is fun!  We are enjoying it too!  For a long time, I’ve helped him with his job, or he with mine.  We are enjoying doing this together- even if we each facilitate our own class.

2. One person said, “I was trying to figure out what you did to make Rennie do this video? ”  I simply asked if he would be willing.  He is all in.  He is really seeing the value of this material- this discussion about a topic that is often hushed.  He is seeing men- not just husbands, but all men respond to the truth about their God given sexuality and the tools they gain to deal with their desires in a godly way.

3. Another said, “I just saw your passion for my marriage and it was contagious!”    If that’s it,  Hallelujah!  People! If we don’t make an intentional stand for holiness and purity in our sexual thoughts and relationships, the enemy is. If the marriage in a home is damaged, our families will be that much more vulnerable.  We will be attacked on every front; our thought life, our response to visual stimulus, or the touch of another, or the attention of another.  If we are married, let’s choose our spouse.  If we are single, let’s choose wholeness!

Women- God is calling us to use our gifts to make a difference in our world.  We have more options for building the marriage we long for, or living passionate lives than we are willing to acknowledge.

Men- God is calling you to be valiant men!  Men that recognize the roles, the desires God has given them and is willing to take the challenge.

YES IT IS HARD! Yes it is!  Ren and I have experienced that over and over again in our marriage.  But God didn’t design us this way destroy us, but to give us the opportunity every day to choose Him!
To choose life for ourselves and those we love!
To reflect Him to our world!

Consider joining the GHC groups being offered regarding this topic. The start date has been pushed back to Saturday, January 24th It’s not to late.  CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO OR TO REGISTER!

If you are from out of town, email me at kathy@greenhopecoaching.com.  I have some options for you too!

Come on ya’ll!  Let’s do this!  1400 more times!!!!

I do love you! I think?

You look over at this person next to you!

You still see his handsome features, the ones that attracted you to him when you first met. You see the lines that are forming on his face, just as they are on yours.  You know that look when one eye brow seems to clamp tighter around his eye, while the other one remains the same- as if one part of him was uptight and the other part relaxed.

You look at her, years of motherhood and caring for a family and her world have changed her.  But peering from behind all that are the eyes of the beautiful, young girl that won your heart so long ago.  She still reaches up and plays with that small tuft of hair right by her ear as she is deep in thought or developing some creative vision.

You love him!  You love her! Really love from a place so deep you never knew it existed.

But today….Argh! Continue reading I do love you! I think?

Is your marriage on your list?

Did your marriageThe beginning of the next- a new page, a new start!  We did or didn’t make resolutions about our health, our job, and our future. We set goals for our projects for the year.  We chose a WORD to focus on. We clarified our vision!  All great stuff!  And probably you either feel invigorated by the process or it has left you feeling a weight that seems overwhelming!

I made three resolutions this year with more specifics than I’l share here, but this will give you the general idea. Continue reading Is your marriage on your list?

Let’s Do This! Sarah’s Story!

Today I made two visits that I knew I would make one year ago. One with Sarah’s mom and the other to Sarah’s husband.

I met Sarah when I was ‘the youth pastor’s wife’ and Sarah was one of the youth. She was quiet, but when she smiled, you felt like smiling with her.

SeveralSarah years later she became the ‘youth pastor’s wife’ and my husband was the lead. Her personality remained reserved, but her smile was now matched by an incredible passion for the Lord that oozed out of her and sweetly touched the lives of the young people of our church.

And me! Continue reading Let’s Do This! Sarah’s Story!