Category Archives: Communication

grief, LOSS, Psalm 77, Questions?, wrestling

What do you do …?

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Recently a new friend asked the common question, “What do you do for a living?”

I hesitated for a moment. Thoughts flashed through my head of the past couple of weeks.  Of conversations I’ve had with clients and friends.  I know what my job description is, but is it what I actually do?

I became a life coach because I got to help people, particularly women, identify where they are and where they want to go!  One of my favorite things to do is to partner with someone to create an action plan for their dream.

However, recently I’ve been more of a Psalm 77 coach than a life coach.  Have you never heard of a Psalm 77 coach?  Yeah, me neither. I just made it up!

Here’s why I use the title Psalm 77.

When I start working with a client, I often ask just two questions.

1) What do you want to talk about today?
2) What do you want to have to feel successful in this session?
If a client can answers those questions at the beginning of the session, we can make incredible progress.

However, what I find most often is before a woman can accomplish what she wants to be true of her, she has to grieve what isn’t!

Coaching (1)It sounds something like this! Continue reading What do you do …? →

Celebrate the Dance, GHC opportunities, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Marriage, Marriage Vision, Questions?, Relationship Issues

Tell us About Green Hope Coaching…

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I recently had an interview regarding my business and the events for married couples called “CELEBRATE the DANCE”.  Thought I’d share it with you so you can understand why this invitation is so important.

Tell us about KATHY BURRUS, GREEN HOPE COACHING:

Kathy: I am a life and marriage coach that works primarily with women in some transition of life.  In the change that occurs with  their next step, I most often hear from them “I want to do something that matters.  I want to make a difference in my world.”  I help them identify what their core values are and what ‘difference’ is most important to them.  Then we determine how to go about it.

Often in that process is the influence/ or roadblocks they have in their marriage.  These women who want to make a difference usually desire to have a stronger marriage- even if their marriage is good.  It is my heart’s cry to see couples thriving together- not settling or complacent with things as is too often the case.

Green Hope Coaching exists to create safe and stimulating environments that allow women and their husbands to intentionally design hope for their life and their marriage.

WHY this is so important to you, Kathy? 

Kathy: That comes out of my own story.  Rennie & I have been married 35 years.  We KNOW the challenge couples face as we navigate the  choices and decisions within a marriage.  We’ve had times in our lives that we think we are going the same place, have the same vision.  Suddenly we end up in two different places and wonder how that happened. What we forget is that our expectation, preferences and assumptions often cause us to ‘think’ we’ve communicated clearly about where we are headed, but miss the mark by, what could be tiny differences of thought. 

Along with that are some seasons of life where one partner or the other is really struggling. For instance, after our daughter died, everything seemed too hard.  I wanted to care for my husband and family, but sometimes grief is paralyzing.  It was in that moment that Rennie stepped up in a new way for me.  He reached out for me and held on to me when I couldn’t hold on to him.  I hate to think where we might be if he had not. 

WHAT are some ways you speak to women/ couples and the issues they face?

Continue reading Tell us About Green Hope Coaching… →

Fresh start, GHC opportunities, Intimacy, Living Intentionally, LOVE, Love Language, Marriage, Marriage Vision, Questions?, Relationship Issues, roles and relationships, Sex

I do love you! I think?

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You look over at this person next to you!

You still see his handsome features, the ones that attracted you to him when you first met. You see the lines that are forming on his face, just as they are on yours.  You know that look when one eye brow seems to clamp tighter around his eye, while the other one remains the same- as if one part of him was uptight and the other part relaxed.

You look at her, years of motherhood and caring for a family and her world have changed her.  But peering from behind all that are the eyes of the beautiful, young girl that won your heart so long ago.  She still reaches up and plays with that small tuft of hair right by her ear as she is deep in thought or developing some creative vision.

You love him!  You love her! Really love from a place so deep you never knew it existed.

But today….Argh! Continue reading I do love you! I think? →

Communication, GHC opportunities, Intimacy, LOVE, Marriage, Questions?, Sex

Is your marriage on your list?

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Did your marriageThe beginning of the next- a new page, a new start!  We did or didn’t make resolutions about our health, our job, and our future. We set goals for our projects for the year.  We chose a WORD to focus on. We clarified our vision!  All great stuff!  And probably you either feel invigorated by the process or it has left you feeling a weight that seems overwhelming!

I made three resolutions this year with more specifics than I’l share here, but this will give you the general idea. Continue reading Is your marriage on your list? →

business, Fresh start, GHC opportunities, Goals, Green Hope Coaching, LIFE, Living Intentionally, Marriage Vision, Pay Attention, Questions?, Relationship Issues

Before the Resolution!

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What keeps us from Keeping our New Year’s Resolutions? 

  1. We make resolutions or goals that are NOT true to ourselves.

Often goals are task oriented- which is great for the task oriented person who loves to check off a list of things done, who does a task for the sake of the task needing to be done.

But that doesn’t work for the person who is relational at the core- like me.  I don’t do things just because they need to be done.  I do them because it affects a relationship I care about.

Simple example, a task oriented person does the dishes because they need to be done.

A relational person does them because their spouse or their family benefit from having them done.

 So lets use ‘health’  as one of our resolutions for 2015, because chances are it is on everyone’s list to some degree.   The task oriented person will likely choose that goal because they see that this needs to be done to do life well.  The relational person will choose this goal because they want to be in the lives of the people in their world.

 Now I know that is over simplifying  because many of us have a bit of task and relationship in our personality.  But understanding this about yourself can be very freeing.   You begin to realize you are not right- or wrong- just different.

 A question you can ask is  Continue reading Before the Resolution! →

GHC opportunities, Goals, LIFE, Living Intentionally, Mentor, Pay Attention, Questions?

Pondering the Old Year!

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The Christmas season is over!  The year is drawing to a close.  Often Happy New Yearour minds are full of ponderings.  If they’re not, they should be. What a perfect time to take a look at the past year and all we experienced.

NOTICING the past plays a huge role in making the new year more successful!

As I began this journey, I NOTICED Continue reading Pondering the Old Year! →

fear, GHC opportunities, Green Hope Coaching, Hope, LIFE, Linda Dillow, Living Intentionally, Offering Hope, prayer, Questions?, worship

Living Open Handed: Pivot to See God

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Open handedThis is the 4th and final post in the series Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World. If you have missed the previous posts, it would be helpful to go back and read them in order to understand how we got to this post.  Links are provided below.

1. Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World
2. Living Open Handed: I have a need!
3. Living Open Handed: Express Honestly

Through these posts,

  • we have identified our fears that cause us to create fist
  • then opened the little finger to admit or acknowledge we have a need.
  • Next we lifted the ring finger and wrote a psalm including those fears and needs.

Now we are ready to open the middle finger which stands for P: PIVOT. Continue reading Living Open Handed: Pivot to See God →

fear, GHC opportunities, Green Hope Coaching, healing, LIFE, Living Intentionally, LOSS, prayer, Questions?

Living Open Handed: Express Honestly

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This is the third in a series on LIVING OPEN HANDED.  If you missed them, it might be helpful to go back so you understand how we got to this post.
1. LIVING OPEN HANDED: Do Not Fear 

2. LIVING OPEN HANDED: I have a Need

Open handedRecognizing our fear and acknowledging we have a need leads us to
open up our ring finger for E: EXPRESS HONESTLY———-

Continue reading Living Open Handed: Express Honestly →

fear, Green Hope Coaching, LOSS, Pay Attention, Questions?, Wholeness

Living OPEN Handed: I have a NEED

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This is the second post in the Living Open Handed series.

Let’s consider what it takes to LIVE with OPEN HANDS, in a white knuckle world.
Open handedI ask you make a fist again- because generally that is what our hand looks like when we are afraid. Now, consider your knuckles as a tool to help you remember how to OPEN your hands.

But we are going to work backwards.

First, Open your little finger and recall the N stands for:
I HAVE NEED——

When we experience fear, we become aware that we are in need.  We don’t often admit it, but we usually NEED God to show up in a big way.  However, too often we don’t go to God first.  Instead we have to recognize that a fear appears most often because a NEED we have is being compromised.  maslov's hierarch of needs

If you consider Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs that I studied in my classes for coaching, maybe you can identify what need is trampled in some way.

But another way to come to terms with your needs is to read the Psalms. 

How many times as you read through the Psalms do you find a Psalmist that is voicing your hearts cry.

In regard to your fears (refer to your list you made yesterday), what are the needs that are not being met? Write them down next to the fear.  Be as descriptive as you can be.  It will help with the next step in tomorrow’s post. 

Missed the first post, click here! 

Want to read the next one- here it is!

fear, Green Hope Coaching, LOSS, Questions?

Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World

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How many of us will honestly admit that we experience fears and tonightinsecurities – as a mom?  at my job? at school?  at home?    Most if not all of us will confess that we are afraid!  It is a common emotion that strikes to the heart of us- sometimes paralyzing our next move, sometimes forcing us to move with caution, sometimes just what we need to know we are going the right way.

I recently read a book by Henry Nouwen.  He shared these words. ”
There is a story of an elderly woman that was being admitted into a psychiatric hospital.  She was wild, swinging at everything in sight.  The staff was so concerned by her behavior that they had to take everything away from her.  But she made a fist so tight and would not give up.  It took two people to pry open her clenched hand.  In it was one small coin.  It was her last possession.  Her fear made her believe  if they took it, she would have nothing more, she would be nothing more.

As I read, my immediate thought was, “I don’t want to be that woman.” Continue reading Living Open Handed in a White Knuckle World →